So, to follow up with my last entry, Faye and her family decided to take off the oxygen mask that was keeping her alive, turn up the morphine and let her pass away in her sleep and the day that was selected was Saturday, August 14th. This is the same day as my son Adam’s birthday.
At this point in time, I need to tell a little side story, Tom and I have been lamenting over the fact that we have not seen our son for over 8 months!! The last time we saw him was on Christmas Eve at our daughter-in-laws family gathering. I have made so many attempts to get together, emailing them many times, calling him, calling her… with no success. I would go from one emotional pendulum swing of "I can’t let them think this is ok! They have to know that we miss them soooo much!" To, "I am going to stop trying, leave the ball in their court and wait for them to contact us". But mostly we just missed our son so much, even bringing us to the point of tears, and could not understand why they had allowed so much time to go by without seeing us… Geeze they only live about 30 minutes away for goodness sakes!!
So with that being said, after much persistence and emails, we finally managed to set a date to have them over for dinner for our son's birthday last Thursday night! YAY! We were so excited and we really looked forward to seeing them again. During the dinner I was able to share my heart and let them know that we were not ok with not seeing them for 8 months!! And we really impressed upon them how important they were to us and how much we wanted them to be in our lives more. They apologized and took responsibility and promised they would do a better job of getting together with us. During the evening we asked what plans they had for his actual birthday on Saturday. They surprised us by saying “nothing”! I had assumed that our daughter in law and her family were planning something but she said she just got confirmation that she had the day off and had not planned anything yet. So, they invited us to join them for the day… Wow, two days in one week!! It has been so hot lately that all “outdoor” ideas were nixed so I finally said, just come over in the morning and I will make you a “birthday” breakfast and we can just hang out here at the Inn for the day.
So, that is what was going on Saturday morning in my world. I was so torn between being with them and being at the hospital with Faye!! After breakfast, which actually turned out to be more of a “brunch”, I decided to take a few minutes away and go to the hospital to see Faye. I got there at just the right time that afternoon. All four boys were there along with all of her local family and the room was packed! Just after I got there they all decided to share what they loved the most about her before she went into her morphine induced sleep. It was so cool to hear all the words of love, funny comments and stories and to be able to share my own words of love and appreciation with her before she died... sort of a "eulogy" before her death! I was so glad that I was there in time to be able to participate in that! Then, after a little while, I went back to the Inn to hang out with our son again. After a wonderful day of reconnecting and hanging out together, they decided to leave after dinner and dessert at around 8:45.
When I looked at the clock and saw how early it still was, I decided to go back to the hospital to see what was going on. I got there at around 9:15 and the crowd had thinned out, the room was dark, Faye was sleeping and everyone was just quietly waiting. Then things started to happen. The nurse came in and said she noticed a change in her heart rate and said that it wouldn't be much longer. Sure enough, after a period of just minutes, all of her vitals started to shut down and the last thing to go was her heart. We were all standing there watching the monitor and watching her go... something I have NEVER experience before. I suddenly felt compelled to do something... to pray or say something... it just seemed like such an important moment to just let slip by so I asked if I could pray. They all agreed and prayed with me. I thanked the Lord for allowing us to have this time with her and released her into His hands, thanking Him for taking good care of her as she crosses over from this world into His arms... Then her heart stopped and she was gone, it was 9:35pm, just 20 minutes after I got there (I told everyone later that I thought she was just waiting for me to get there, lol)! It was the most amazing experience I have had in a long time. I felt as though I could see heaven open up, with the Lord standing there waiting to receive her... like both worlds were in the room at the same time. As we were walking out of the room, one of the family members asked me "How did you know when to come back? None of us would have known how to pray like that!" I just said, "I didn't know but God did!!"
When I looked at the clock and saw how early it still was, I decided to go back to the hospital to see what was going on. I got there at around 9:15 and the crowd had thinned out, the room was dark, Faye was sleeping and everyone was just quietly waiting. Then things started to happen. The nurse came in and said she noticed a change in her heart rate and said that it wouldn't be much longer. Sure enough, after a period of just minutes, all of her vitals started to shut down and the last thing to go was her heart. We were all standing there watching the monitor and watching her go... something I have NEVER experience before. I suddenly felt compelled to do something... to pray or say something... it just seemed like such an important moment to just let slip by so I asked if I could pray. They all agreed and prayed with me. I thanked the Lord for allowing us to have this time with her and released her into His hands, thanking Him for taking good care of her as she crosses over from this world into His arms... Then her heart stopped and she was gone, it was 9:35pm, just 20 minutes after I got there (I told everyone later that I thought she was just waiting for me to get there, lol)! It was the most amazing experience I have had in a long time. I felt as though I could see heaven open up, with the Lord standing there waiting to receive her... like both worlds were in the room at the same time. As we were walking out of the room, one of the family members asked me "How did you know when to come back? None of us would have known how to pray like that!" I just said, "I didn't know but God did!!"
Father, once again You amaze me. You knew my heart and desire to be at both places at the same time so You worked it out for me! Lord, I thank you again for allowing me the time I had with Faye. What an amazing blessing she was to me!! I am thankful that she is no longer in pain but at home in Your arms. I look forward to seeing her again! But now, Lord, I ask that you would be with Gerry. After having Faye as her room mate for 10 years, she will be sorely missed by Gerry, not to mention the loss of her only surviving sibling. I lift up Gerry to You now and ask that you hold her tight and comfort her as she goes through this time of grieving and mourning. In Jesus name, amen!
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