Is the "EASY" way the "Best" way?

This is another follow up of something God showed me at the Thursday night group. One of the things I shared was regarding my old way of reacting and responding to Tom.  As I was thinking back and remembering how I handled things, I was able to see that my reactions and behaviors were "automatic" for me... which meant that these thoughts, feelings and reactions came "easy" to me.  All the judgmental thoughts and comments, the criticisms, the negative thoughts, the self righteous "I'm better than you" attitudes and treatments...  all those things came very natural to me!  They just slipped right off my tongue like butter and with hardly a thought!  But, saying and doing all of those things did NOT make me happy... well, maybe for a moment or two :)  But, in actuality, It seemed the more I said and did those things, the more I wanted to do them and no matter how much I did, it did not "satisfy" me!  It was never enough...

Now, I am taking the "harder" road and learning a NEW way of thinking, speaking and reacting.  God is transforming me, from the inside out, as I seek HIM and His ways and righteousness and I am MUCH happier!  

So, in essence I am realizing even more that, before, I was taking the easy way but that didn't making me happy but when I decided to chose "God's" way, even though it was much harder because it went against my selfish "flesh", the result is that I am finding more joy, peace and happiness than I did before!  I always seem to go back to the "eating right and exercising" analogy; Who wants to eat salads and vegetables all the time (besides me :)), and who wants to workout to loose weight?  Just give me a pill that will "melt" the pounds off of me and let me eat whatever I want!!  "Easy" is not always the "best" for us.  If we want what is best for us we HAVE to do the WORK.  That is a natural law and nothing anyone says can change that!  Just like our husbands, if they don't do the work to be freed from the addiction, they won't get the desired results.  

So, I guess I am saying all this to encourage you to keep seeking the Lord and looking to HIM for all things and take your eyes off of your husband.  Do the work on yourself and trust God to do what needs to be done with your man.  It is MUCH harder but the results are much better too :)  There are many verses in the Bible that talk about "pressing on" (Philippians 3:12&14), "straining ahead" (Philippians 3:13) , "crucifying yourself" (Galatians 2:20 and Romans 6:6), taking up your cross daily (Luke 9:23), running the race (1 Corinthians 9:24)... all these scriptures indicate that there is much effort to achieving the "goal" and the "prize"... And what is the prize you may be asking?  I believe it is the "knowledge" of God...  As we seek, strain and press into our Lord and Savior He reveals Himself to us and we become more like Him and then our lives are the testimony of a "transforming" and loving God and the "Gospel" is preached to all who are watching!

Father, I thank you so much for your Word of Truth and transforming power in our lives.  I pray that we each press, strain, and run towards You more and more every day!  I pray that You give us the strength we need to set aside our fleshly desires and pick up Your cross, ways and attitudes in our lives.  Help us to become the women, wives and mothers you created us to be, in Jesus name, amen!

Are we playing the BLAME game...?

I am still reading the book "Changes that Heal" by Dr. Henry Cloud and have gotten to the section called "When we fail to develop boundaries".  When I meet with women for the first time, more than any other question, I get asked something to the effect of "How long will I be feeling this pain?"  My answer is that I cannot tell you how long... it depends on YOU.  Everyone goes through the "grieving stage" and feeling the loss of what they thought they had, and because each one is different, everyone's recovery time frame is different,.. but it doesn't end there.  There is another aspect of things that contributes to this time frame and this book does such a great job of describing it so I thought I would write it out for you:

In the Fall, our boundaries were destroyed.  Since we no long had grace, we could not tell the truth about who owned what.  Adam said it was the woman's fault, not his.  She "caused" him to do it.  Eve said it was the serpents fault, not hers, for he "made her do it."  They could not admit that their own desires, attitudes, and behaviors led to their choices.  They could not take responsibility for themselves.  They wanted to eat the fruit and to become godlike.  They thought that they should have whatever they wanted and that God really did not know what was good for them.  They chose to reach past their allotted boundaries, and God held them responsible for all of those choices.  Since the fall, we have all had difficulty owning what is ours.  We disown what is ours and try to own what belongs to others...

Parents, children, friends, and spouses often have trouble working this out.  There are two wills in any relationship, so allowances have to be made if love and responsibility are to be forthcoming.  I saw a bumper sticker that read, "If you love something, set it free, If it really loves you, it will return.  If it doesn't, hunt it down and kill it!"  We all feel this way to varying degrees.  We may want the people we love to be able to make their own choices, but many of those choices are going to limit us in some way.  And when they do, we do not naturally want to deal with those limitations responsibly.  We would rather blame...

It is easy to say we love others, but difficult to allow them the freedom inherent in love.  When they do not want to do what we want them to, then we "hunt them down and kill them" in various ways.  We pout, cry out angrily, send guilt messages, and attempt to control them.  These actions kill freedom and will, and eventually, they will kill love.  Love cannot exist without freedom, and freedom cannot exist without responsibility.  We must deal with it.  This is the only way to keep love alive.

This is true even when others' freedom leads them to sin against us.  The pain we feel is not our fault, but it is our responsibility to deal with... But, many times people do sin against us when exercising their freedom, and we are responsible for dealing with the injury.  If we don't, we will stay stuck in a blame position, powerless against their sin.  This "victim" mentality keeps many people stuck in their pain.

Many, however, do not take responsibility for their lives.  (Again, I'm not saying "fault," I am saying responsibility.  It is not my fault if I get hit by a truck, but it is my responsibility to learn to walk again.  No one can do that for me, but they can help me.  I must own the injured legs and begin to exercise them.)  they remain stuck because they want other people to change.  They want others to make it better, and often those people will not.  As a result, they are in bondage to others.  Freedom comes from taking responsibility; bondage comes from giving it away...  This is the essence of powerlessness...

Part of the forgiveness process is to call sin, sin.  We must confess how we have been sinned against in order to forgive.  However, after an appropriate period of blame, we must begin to take responsibility for the mess that someone else's sin has left us in.  Our situation is part of our property, we must own it and deal with our feelings, attitudes, and behaviors to get unstuck even if we did not cause it.  (The bold and italics are mine for emphasis)

I thought he did such a great job describing what "is" and "is not" our responsibility!  For so many years I wanted Tom to change!  I "disowned what was mine and tried to own what belonged to others".  I tried to "pout, cry out angrily, send guilt messages, and attempt to control" him for 21 years...  Then, God showed me the "plank" in my own eye and I started to take responsibility and deal with my own attitudes and behaviors and things started changing for the better.

I pray that these words minister to your heart as much as they did mine!!  I would love to hear your thoughts on this!

What is a "Right" Relationship With God...?

(Originally posted on September 7, 2010 but updated on July 9, 2025)

“Now this is eternal life: that they know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom You have sent.”
—John 17:3 (NIV)

We had a small but really good ladies' group on Thursday night. We talked again about “knowing” God and what that truly means. Oswald Chambers talks often about having a “right” relationship with God. Here’s an excerpt from his August 30th devotional:

"Jesus Christ is saying here (in Luke 10:20), 'Don’t rejoice in your successful service for Me, but rejoice because of your right relationship with Me.' The trap you may fall into in Christian work is to rejoice in successful service—rejoicing in the fact that God has used you. Yet you will never be able to measure fully what God will do through you if you have a right-standing relationship with Jesus Christ. If you keep your relationship right with Him, then regardless of your circumstances or whoever you encounter each day, He will continue to pour 'rivers of living water' through you (John 7:38). And it is actually by His mercy that He does not let you know it. Once you have the right relationship with God through salvation and sanctification, remember that whatever your circumstances may be, you have been placed in them by God. And God uses the reaction of your life to your circumstances to fulfill His purpose, as long as you continue to 'walk in the light as He is in the light' (1 John 1:7)."

With these conversations and Oswald’s words in mind, the Lord has really been prompting me to reflect more deeply on what it means to have a right relationship with Him.

When Tom and I were talking about this the other day, I realized I had spent a huge chunk of my life as a Christian thinking I “knew” God. I read the Bible, believed the stories, and served in the church... what more could I do?

Then I thought: If I read an autobiography or biography about someone, would I actually know that person just because I read about their life? I’ve read Oswald’s biography and learned a great deal about him, but I certainly wouldn’t say I actually knew him. Is that what we sometimes do with God? Do we read the Bible and then assume we “know” Him?

That’s when Tom brought up a great analogy from an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation. Here’s what he said (written by Tom):

"There was a great analogy in a Star Trek TNG episode where Geordi is trying to do something with the warp engines and needs help from a woman who designed them—but she isn’t on the ship. So, he creates a 'holodeck' version of her and works with that simulation to solve the problem. As they work together, he starts to bond with her. But she’s not a real person—just a compilation of the information the computer had about her. Later in the series, the real woman comes aboard, and she’s very different from what Geordi had experienced on the holodeck."

That’s kind of how our walk with the Lord can be too. We gather facts and information about Him from the Word and form an image of who we think He is—but that’s not the same as actually knowing Him. Walking with Him, talking with Him, being with Him, and letting Him reveal Himself through His Word is something entirely different.

It’s not that reading the Word isn’t important—it absolutely is! But it's taken on a whole new dimension for me as I’ve begun to allow God to reveal His Word to me, rather than me trying to piece it all together on my own.

That was a great analogy!!

Another difficult aspect of trying to know God is how much our perception of Him is shaped by so many factors—our childhood, our earthly fathers, the churches we've attended...

And as I write this, I wonder—how are we not doomed to failure?! How can we possibly sort through all of these filters and truly know God?

But here's the good news: it’s not about us or our ability to figure Him out—it’s all about God and who He is! When we desire to know and love God with all our heart, all our mind, and all our strength... when we seek first His kingdom and righteousness... when we desire to abide and remain in Him—

—I believe that’s when He begins to reveal Himself. (And yes, I say “desire and pursue” intentionally in all of those statements, because as hard as I try, I often fail at actually accomplishing them!) But God knows our hearts. He knows our desires better than we do. And I believe He will reveal Himself through His Holy Spirit when we surrender our lives—when we trade our desires for His.

We also have to remember that relationships—especially deep, meaningful ones—don’t happen overnight. Real connection takes time. We can’t be anxious about our relationship with God, and we can’t expect it to suddenly “be there” just because we read the Bible. We need to be like Mary, sitting at Jesus’ feet, gazing into His eyes, and allowing Him to teach us about Himself—day by day, moment by moment.

Here’s a question for you:
Did you invite Jesus into your life, or did you give your life to Jesus?
There’s a big difference. One is trying to fit Jesus into the life you have planned. The other is surrendering your life completely and embracing the life He has planned for you.

---

Father, I thank You for showing me these small but powerful insights about what it means to truly know You. Help us all, Lord, to lay down the incorrect ideas we’ve picked up along the way. Reveal the lies we’ve believed that keep us from truly knowing You and from having a real and “right” relationship with You.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.

“Remain in Me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine... apart from Me you can do nothing.”
—John 15:4–5 (NIV)

Linda's Journal: God's AMAZING Provision!

I had mentioned in another blog posting about "Being held by God" when our car was overheating but I hadn't followed up with what God has done since then.  One of the cool things about completely relying on God is that we get to watch Him do some pretty amazing things!  Lately we haven't had very many "surprises" financially so things have been pretty "status quo" as far as our provision has been concerned. But, this last month we have been hit by several surprises!... But, as I watch God work, I am seeing more and more that He is never "surprised" by anything!  We may be surprised but He isn't and has already made provision for us! We have been doing this for a couple years now but I am continually amazed at how big, and awesome God is :).

So, back to the car. I had called our friend Bryan (who is a mechanic) the day the car was overheating but, unknown to me, he was vacationing at the beach that week and wasn't available...  which is why God had made provision for us to get Cecelia's car (Big Blue) that day for as long as we needed it.  When Bryan got back in town, Tom was able to drive the car to Bryan's shop and he fixed it for us... FREE of charge! We were not expecting that! We even had people tell us that they would pay for the repairs but he would not take anything. Lord, I pray that you bless this man 100 fold for his wonderful generosity!

Next, we usually get a certain amount once a month from a friend who feels led to support our ministry which we use for our car insurance and our cell phone bill. We receive it anywhere between the 9th and the 15th of the month because the bills are due at that time. We usually don't even think about it because it is always there when we need it. Well, we got a surprise gift from someone, very unexpectedly, for the very same amount so we assumed it was for the repairs of the car... since that was still going on when we received the money.  But, what happened was, the person who normally gives, forgot for some reason this month to do the transfer! So, God had provided the same amount from another source to cover us so we could pay those bills on time! God was not surprised! He knew before we did that we were not going to receive the normal donation in time so He provided it another way :)

The next blessing occurred when we got the cell phone bill this month! Apparently I used my phone much more than normal and went WAY over my minutes so the phone bill was double what it usually is! Ooops. But again, God was not surprised and laid on some ones heart to give us the amount that we were over the normal bill, unexpectedly... So, needless to say, I am watching my minutes much closer now!  :)

Next, we are driving home from dropping our grand daughter Tuesday night when we suddenly heard our tire making a noise like it just went flat. Tom pulled over pretty quickly so we could check it out but when I got out of the car and looked, the tire wasn't flat at all!  But, when I took a closer look at the tire I saw that we had picked up a BOLT and the head was sticking out far enough that it made the noise that we heard...  OK!  Well, we made it home and the bolt actually stayed in the tire and kept the air from coming out but for how long we did not know. So, Tom and I were looking at our finances and trying to work out a way that we could get a new tire with what we knew was coming in that week. I worked for Marteen on Wed. and she gave me $50 so we set that aside. Then on Thursday night, my ladies group met and one of the ladies handed me some cash...  She had never given me anything during the couple years I had known her so this was a surprise to me! I asked her what it was for and as she was walking away, she just threw her hands up and said "I don't know!" She was just being obedient to what God was telling her to do. At that time I just stuck it in my pocket because other ladies were coming in but took it out later and counted it... she gave me $100 dollars!! With what Marteen gave us and that, that was our tire money!!! God, once again, you knew what we needed and provided it in a way that only You could make happen.

So, that last thing I wanted to mention was that when I was vacuuming out Big Blue before we returned it to Cecelia, I sucked up something that that vacuum did not like...  I started smelling something burning so I shut it off.  We could not figure out what the problem was until Tom took it apart.  Fortunately, we were able to repair it ourselves for only $20 for a replacement part! That may sound silly but when you get attached to a Kirby, nothing else can do the job so we were very happy that the "fix" was simple, easy and inexpensive :)

These are just a few of the many ways that God blesses us by meeting our needs when we need it and even when we don't know we need it! God is not surprised by anything and He always comes through for us at just the right time :)