I see things UPSIDE DOWN

(Updated from August 26, 2011)

Seeing Things Upside Down

Over the last couple of years, as I’ve shared my life with others—and they’ve shared theirs with me—I’ve been struck again and again by how often we, as Christians, see things upside down.

What I mean is this: the more I get to know God and His Kingdom principles, the more I realize that many of the things I believed throughout my Christian walk are not at all what God is asking of me. In fact, they are often the exact opposite—backwards, even upside down—from what He desires.

A few years ago, some friends introduced us to a Derek Webb song called “What Is Not Love” (also known as “I See Things Upside Down”). These lyrics have stayed with me: 

What looks like failure is success

And what looks like poverty is riches

When what is true looks more like a knife

It looks like you’re killing me

But you’re saving my life

But I give myself to what looks like love

And I sell myself for what feels like love

And I pay to get what is not love

And all just because I see things upside down

What looks like weakness can do anything

And what looks like foolishness is understanding

When what is powerful has not come to fight

It looks like you’re going to war

But you lay down your life

What looks like torture is a time to rejoice

What sounds like thunder is a comforting voice

When what is beautiful looks broken and crushed

And I say I don’t know you

But you say it’s finished

(What is not Love by Derek Webb)

Those words capture this idea perfectly. So, with this intro, I will start off with the first in a series on this topic.  

The Pressure to Convince

Recently, I was talking with a friend who shared that she sometimes has conversations in her mind—imagining what she would say to nonbelievers if she ever had the opportunity to talk with them about the Lord and the truth of the Bible.

She’s mentally preparing for a debate that may never even happen. Can you relate? I certainly can.

I remember doing the same thing—especially after unexpected conversations with skeptics. I would walk away and replay everything in my mind, thinking of all the things I wish I had said, rewriting the conversation over and over.

I often felt so inadequate in my responses. I wished I had better answers—better comebacks—so that somehow, through my words, they would “see the light” and be convinced of the truth of Jesus. (insert “angelic” “ah-ha” music here)

But the key issue was this: they were my words.

And honestly, this reminds me of another area where I fall into the same trap—my marriage. I catch myself trying to “fix” my husband, trying to get him to “see the light” and realize that I am right.

And for some reason… it never works out in reality the way it does in my head. (What’s up with that? 😊)

It Was Never Our Job to Save

So why do we feel like it’s our responsibility to save people? And what does Scripture actually say?

Jesus said:
“I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” (John 14:6)

Not through Linda. Not through Tom, Bob, Sue, Jane, or Mary—but through Jesus.

And again:
“No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them…” (John 6:44)

That means unless the Father is drawing someone, there is nothing we can say or do to convince them. It is the Holy Spirit’s role to convict, to reveal truth, and to draw hearts to God.

Words vs. Witness

This next passage had a huge effect on me:

“Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives…” (1 Peter 3:1–2)

That phrase—without words—convicts me every time. Especially in marriage. And if I’m honest, I also fall short of the “purity and reverence” part more often than I’d like to admit.

But this passage highlights something so important: we are called to live the life ourselves—to love others as Jesus loves us:

“Love each other as I have loved you.” (John 15:12)

And then… let God do the rest. Now, I’m not saying God won’t ever use our words—He absolutely does. But I think we often lean too heavily on words and not enough on how we live.

Disciples, Not Converts

And you might be thinking, What about Matthew 28?

“Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you…" (Matthew 28:19–20)

Did you catch that? It doesn’t say “make converts.” It says make disciples. So why do we so often take on the responsibility of “saving” people?

What I’ve come to see is this: God draws people to Himself—and we are called to disciple them.

A Life That Draws Others

So how do we do that? I believe it starts with our lives. Our relationship with God. Our relationships with others. The visible evidence of His transforming work in us.

There’s a quote often attributed to St. Francis of Assisi:
“Preach the gospel at all times. When necessary, use words.”

Whether or not he actually said it, the truth still stands.

We have it backwards when we try to convince others with words while our lives don’t yet reflect His love.

Truth be told, I think it is easier for us spend our time "arguing and debating" with people rather than learning to love them. And trying to fix them rather than build relationships with them.

Scripture reminds us:

“Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments… the Lord’s servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone…” (2 Timothy 2:23–24)

It’s also easier to see other people’s issues than our own. And let’s face it—it’s often more comfortable trying to fix others than allowing God to work on us.

But imagine this:

What if our lives so clearly reflected Christ—His love, compassion, kindness, mercy, and grace—that people were drawn to us?

That they began to ask,
“What must I do to be saved?” (Acts 16:30)

That kind of life doesn’t come easily. It requires surrender. Refining. Humility. Letting God deal with our “stuff.”

But when we do, this Scripture becomes reality:

“Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have…” (1 Peter 3:15)

When God is at work, people will be drawn—and they will ask. And how will they recognize us?

Jesus said:
“By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:35)  

Turning It Right-Side Up

We can’t give what we don’t have.

Until we allow Jesus to transform our hearts and fill us with His love, we won’t have it to offer others.

“But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well” (Matthew 6:33)

When we fix our eyes on Him and allow Him to change us, He will take care of the rest.

So in summary, what we often see upside down is this:

We take on the responsibility of saving, fixing, and changing others—when that was never our role. We rely on our words, debates, and arguments, instead of living lives that reflect His love and allowing God to reveal Himself through us.

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart… and love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22:37–39)

Lord, help me to focus on You and on what You have asked me to do—and not take on what was never mine to carry. Teach me to simply be the branch, abiding in You, instead of trying to do Your work for You. Give me Your perspective. Help me to see through Your eyes.

Transform my heart. Fill me with Your love, grace, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and self-control—so that it overflows to those around me.

In Jesus’ name, amen.

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Selah: Reflection and Pause

Take a moment to be still before the Lord.

Where in your life might you be seeing things upside down?

Is there someone you’ve been trying to “fix,” convince, or change with your words—whether in your family, your marriage, your friendships, or even with strangers?

Gently ask the Lord to reveal if you’ve taken on a role that was never yours to carry.

Now shift your focus inward.

Are there areas in your own heart where God is inviting you to surrender, grow, or be transformed?

Remember, He is not asking you to strive harder—but to abide more deeply.

As you sit with Him, reflect:

• Am I relying more on my words than on the testimony of my life?
• Do my actions reflect the love, grace, and humility of Christ?
• Am I trusting God to draw others, or am I trying to do His work for Him?

Release the pressure to fix others.
Release the need to have the right words.
Release the burden of outcomes that were never yours to control.

And receive His invitation instead:

To walk closely with Him.
To be transformed by Him.
To love others as He has loved you.

Reflection Question:
What would it look like this week to shift my focus from changing others to allowing God to change me?

“Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me.” (John 15:4)