Beauty from Ashes...

“...to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.” Isaiah 61:1-3

I recently watched a movie that was really hard. It was set in the 1930’s and it was about a family with 4 boys. The wife’s religious beliefs prevented her from going to the doctor so she died of a very treatable disease and left the husband with the 4 boys, ages 2 through 10. He reluctantly went to the welfare office to get a little financial help to pay for the funeral and get someone to help watch the boys while he worked. He was a carpenter and had a job but just needed a little help after the death of his wife. For some reason the welfare woman thought it was in the children’s “best interest” to forcibly remove them from their home and father’s care and place them in foster care. Anyway, things went south from there, they took the three oldest and placed them in this horrendous place, where they mistreated the boys so needlessly, and the youngest was separated from them and placed in a Catholic orphanage… it was so hard to watch. But eventually, 5 years later, the dad was able to get the boys back and they then had the chore of trying to undo the damage done, but they were together again which was important to them all. All this to say that it hurt my heart so much I was seeking the Lord for the “eternal perspective” and trying to understand how I needed to view situations like this. It seems SO unfair and cruel to treat kids like that, and I know that other children endure SO MUCH more suffering… I really needed help to see things correctly.

So the next morning when Tom came home from his breakfast meeting I shared my heart and feelings about the movie with him, and did some verbal processing while I was at it. As we were talking I realized that I tended to separate “childhood” suffering from “adult suffering”. Like there is some difference between the child and the adult when it is actually the same person… there is no delineation between the two. And the suffering the child goes through is the very thing that helps to refine and shape the adult. It just seems so unfair and heartless to allow children to suffer but, it is also so unavoidable in this world of pain, sorrow, suffering and sin. Not that this idea would justify “intentionally” harming a child, but even when you do your best to protect your children, painful and difficult things are bound to happen! I know for me that the things that I endured as a child were very hard and painful but I wouldn’t change a thing because those circumstances have made me who I am today! And God uses those childhood and life experiences to be able to help and minister to others who are going through those very same things. “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Tom had a great analogy and visual regarding that and said we see a child as pure and perfect when they are born and we feel like it is such a violation to see them get hurt or to suffer, but they are very much like a piece of steel, unaltered and unshaped. But, if you want the steel to become something useful, it will need to be shaped and molded through the forging process to become the tool that God designed it to be. Our pain and suffering needs to begin early in life, as children, not just in adulthood, in order for this “steel” to be correctly forged. Wow. That was such a mind tweak for me but it was GOOD! There is NO separation between a child and an adult and God is a part of everything that happens during every stage of life. And He always turns what the enemy means for harm, into something good for HIS Kingdom purposes. “I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten-- the great locust and the young locust, the other locusts and the locust swarm …” Joel 2:25

And then I flashed on the movie “The Passion” and all the suffering that Jesus endured and I was emotionally impacted by that again. I was an absolute wreck after watching that movie… I was sobbing so hard I couldn’t leave the theater for about 15 minutes. If God can allow Jesus to go through that kind of suffering, then why not us? While the enemy felt like he had the upper hand and was doing damage to God’s plan, God USED Satan for HIS purpose and plan and turned Jesus’ suffering into the redemption of mankind! And I KNOW the same goes for us too! Our suffering and pain in NOT wasted and God does amazing things with it! While it all looks “bad” and sometimes horrific, God’s plan is very GOOD and He knows what He is doing! I know I have had this thought MANY times before but this time it seemed to go down to a deeper level and a greater revelation and understanding. Again, redefining the words “good and bad” in the eternal perspective! Tom brought up the scripture of God turning the ashes to beauty which is what inspired the name of this blog:

“The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion-- to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.” Isaiah 61:1-3

And after reading this again, it has an even deeper meaning now! And the other scripture he brought up was:

“But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea. Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to sin! Such things must come, but woe to the man through whom they come!” Matthew 18:6-7

The emphasis for me was on “Such things MUST come…”!!! What things must come? Harm to little ones and causing them to sin. This IS HIS plan and His purpose and while it is painful to see and go through, God uses all of this pain and suffering (or refining purposes) to make us amazing tools for His Kingdom… and this all starts as children. Thank you Lord for helping me to see this!

Another movie I watched recently had a similar message (I found Pure Flix FREE Christian movies on YouTube! Woot!). This movie was about the difficulty that war veterans have in re-interring civilian life and suffering from PTSD, nightmares, depression and suicide. At the end of the movie, after God brought together a wonderful community of people, who had been through similar suffering, to help the main character in his healing journey, a good point was brought up. One of the people mentioned that, “Even though there are different genders, ethnic groups and walks of life represented in this group, we are all able to connect on one particular level…” When they said that, my first thought was “It is their ‘pain’ they connect to”, but they said “their scars”… which I think both are true! Then one of the other people said he just had a greater understanding of the pain and torment that Jesus went through. He said that because of His pain and our pain, His scars and our scars, we can connect on a deeper level than if we had never had the pain and suffering! A friend just told me about this song and it is perfect for what I am talking about: I am They - Scars (Thankful for the Scars) (Please listen to this song!) I love how God pulls all these things together.

On another note, in that same conversation Tom brought up another forging analogy regarding marriage. He said that when two people are working through marriage issues, we sort of represent two different types of steel, as husband and wife, and when God forges us together (when two become one) we become “Damascus” steel, which is when two or more different types of steel are used to create strength, sharpness and flexibility. The mixing of these different steels, when they are heated and folded, heated and folded again several times, creates an amazing pattern and when it is etched in acid (ouch), the pattern shows up and it is beautiful! Doesn’t our marriage journey feel just like that… heated, folded, pounded, heated, folded, pounded, repeat, right!!?? Hahahahah! But in the end we are so much stronger together than we were before as separate people and in this process, we develop more strength and flexibility as well as beauty! God is SO COOL!

Along those same lines, Tom and I were watching a video on how to make a knife and he mentioned to me something he read about Jay Neilson, one of the judges on Forged in Fire. He said the tests that he does on the show are the same tests he does on his own knifes (which are brutal and often damaging!). He says you have to wreck a knife in hard tests in order to learn how to make them stronger and better. Just as in life, you have to wreck a life to make it stronger and better! Not easy or comfortable, but if we allow God to do His perfect work in us, everything will be redeemed and WE will be BETTER for it… and this all begins in childhood!

Thank you Lord for this deeper lesson and insight! I don’t think I will magically be “ok” with children suffering but I thank you for this perspective and deeper understanding into your eternal perspective and purposes. It does help me to trust you with even this difficult topic. Thank you for redeeming what the “locust have eaten” in my life, and others, and making us into the tool that YOU have designed for Your Kingdom purposes! I am so thankful for my pain and my scars!