Linda's Journal - Monday, April 11, 2011

 

March was a very intense month!  Many things happened and I even had one week that was super intense!

God continues to speak to me about doing a “new thing” in my life.  I have pretty much let go of doing another FWO group… not really sure whether this means “this year” or “ever” but I continue to take one day at a time as I wait on the Lord’s direction.  The good news is that Stacy started up her group on April 5^th!  I am very excited for her and I know she will do a fabulous job! :) 

I have been feeling very stretched lately.  It’s like the Lord is saying “Ok Linda, now that you have a handle on what I have given you up to this point, let’s go deeper!” Even though I am not doing a group, He continues to bring women to me, only these women are struggling with things that I have never dealt with before!!  Super and intense situations that, not only have I not experienced myself, but really have no experience with helping anyone with before.  The thought that comes to mind is, “it’s not about what YOU can do Linda, but about what God will do through you!”  When I think I have the answers, I run ahead of the Lord with what I think these ladies need, but, when I have “NO CLUE”, I can only look to HIM for the answers (and to be honest, HE truly IS the answer for all things, situations and circumstances).  I have gone from familiar to unfamiliar territories and have to trust the Lord more than ever for the words and the resources for these women… which is exactly where He wants me to be!

One of the new things that has come across my plate is that I was asked to speak to a MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group.  I let them know I had never been asked to speak before so this would be a first for me and they still were willing to take a chance and proceed with me.  A noteworthy point is that my speaking date was on March 22^nd, my 31^st spiritual birthday!!  What a neat way to celebrate 31 years of walking with the Lord!  So anyway, typically in the past, when I have had opportunities to get in front of people to say something, even for a minute, I completely choke!  My brain freezes, my heart pounds in my chest, my mouth goes completely dry, I stammer, stutter and walk away wondering what the heck I just said and if I made any sense to anyone!!  I think they call that stage fright! So, knowing this about myself, I wondered what on earth I was going to do in this situation.  I had 30 minutes to speak on Sexual addiction which seemed, in one respect, such a “short” period of time to try to fit in everything that I needed to say, and then in another respect, an “eternity” to have to stand up there in front of these people!  I was asked to speak early in Oct of 2010 and at that time, March seemed so far away!  I wasn’t stressed or nervous about it until about mid February… then, when I started thinking about it, my stomach would do flip-flops and I would start wondering if I would “choke” again like I have in the past.  So, I decided to take that time and really process “why” I get nervous and spent some time in prayer asking the Lord to help me understand this aspect of myself.  What was I afraid of?  Was it pride and the fear of failure? Or looking stupid?  I think it would be safe to say “all of the above”!  I also asked several people to pray for me which I know helped quite a bit.  So, in the end, I have to say, God pulled through for me big time!  I had the biggest frog in my throat all that morning and thought, in addition to “dry mouth”, I would be clearing my throat the whole time so I brought some water up with me.  But, once I got started, miraculously things just started clicking for me! Everything went great!  When I was done I saw my water bottle sitting on the podium and it was then that I realized I did not take one drink, and I didn’t clear my throat even once the entire time!  THAT was the amazing signature and fingerprint of God! He is so amazingly faithful!!

So, that was a Tuesday, and on Thursday morning I got a call from Gerry.  She asked me if I could come early that day because she had “taken a little spill” the night before and was in quite a bit of pain and asked if I would take her to the doctors!  As it turned out, she broke her hip and had to have surgery the next day.  So, I spent quite a bit of time at the hospital and taking care of things for her while she was there.  She is currently MUCH better and in a nursing home rehab facility and doing great!  She has a doctor’s appointment tomorrow and should be released sometime this week.  Since she lives at home alone, her son plans to drive her to Atlanta to stay with him and his family until she is fully recovered and they are confident that she can go back to living alone again.

Another update is that we were really hoping, and actually planning, to go to CA for this years family reunion in June but, at this point in time, it looks like we will not be able to go.  Since Candis works for the airlines she offered us her “non-rev” passes which would only cost us the amount of the taxes.  At that time, just a few months ago, the taxes were around $100 per ticket but now, for some reason, they have increased to almost $300 dollars each!  The amount of a regular ticket price!  Not to mention we would be last on the list for each flight, not knowing when, or if, we would ever arrive!  Then, Tom’s parents called to let us know that there wasn’t any room in anyone’s car to drive to Ramona with so we would need to rent a car and drive ourselves and then we would need to get a hotel room because there wasn’t room in the house for us to stay for the weekend.  So… that just increased our cost right out of the realm of possibilities!!  Tom is really bummed about it, especially since he missed his parent’s 80^th birthday celebration in April as well.  I know he misses his family and really wants to get there at some point in time!  But, for some reason, God is shutting those doors.

Another part of being “stretched” at this time is that God’s provision has decreased again to what it was before we started working for the B&B.  Our needs are still met but we don’t have as much “extra” as we have gotten used to having.  Part of that is due to the fact that gas prices have gone up again to almost $4 a gallon!!  It costs us $55 to fill the tank now!!  That is pretty much what I get from Gerry each week and it used to buy gas and groceries… now we can just get gas.  But, God’s faithfulness is never ending!  He has provided for us each and every day.  If not with cash, we get food given to us at random times from random people!  We never get tired of watching God work :)

Thank you Lord that YOU are in control of all things!  There is nothing that goes on that is surprise to you and nothing that is not within Your knowledge and control.  You always tell us in Your word “do not be afraid!” because with you in control, there is nothing to be afraid of!  I rest in Your loving and very strong arms as all manner of things come and go in my world.  Only You are worthy Lord of honor, praise and glory. In Jesus name, amen!

What does Satan REALLY look like?

Dark and Sinister:

I would like to present to you two scenario's.  The first one goes like this: You are approached by a person who looks dark and sinister, their eyes are shifty (or really intense) and their over all appearance is down right unpleasant and untrustworthy.  Everything about them shouts "I am a no good scoundrel out to take advantage of you!” And everything inside you shouts "avoid this person at all costs!"... And "run away"!!!  And then this person attempts to befriend you, making small talk and shows an interest in you and your children.  How would you respond?? If you are like me, you would make every effort to make haste and get out of that uncomfortable and creepy situation as quickly as possible, right??!!

Light and Friendly:

Now, here is the second scenario: You are approached by a person who looks good, has a kind and friendly demeanor and shows a genuine interest in you and your family.  There is nothing about this person that is outwardly alarming, scary or untrustworthy and they actually seem like someone you would want to become friends with.  Typically, we would not hesitate to engage in conversation with this person and, with our guards down, we share our lives, idea’s and heart… and maybe even exchange email addresses?

Lies vs. Truth:

I present these two scenarios to make a point.  In all the media, movies, books and programming, how is Satan depicted?  Isn't he depicted either as a silly, laughable man in a red suit with horns, carrying a pitchfork, or a dark, slinky, slimy, evil looking dude?  And even his voice is some how snake like as he hisses out his words…  (Insert Vince Price’s evil voice here).  Wouldn’t this depiction automatically put us on guard?  Wouldn’t we sense danger and flee?  Or, laugh hysterically if we saw him in a silly red suit… :)

Light vs. Dark:

So… what DOES Satan really look like??  How do we truly know when we are talking with him, or listening to him? Isaiah refers to him as “morning Star, son of the dawn!” (Isaiah 14:12) and Paul tells us that he “masquerades as an angel of light”!! (2 Corinthians 11:14) That is what is so funny about Hollywood and the world’s depiction of Satan!!  The two descriptions don’t match!  I think we are being set up by Satan to look for him as ugly and unpleasant so that when he does come, we are deceived, caught off guard and unprepared for his dark plan.  Jesus also tells us that he is “a liar and the father of lies” (John 8:44) so he is not going to be truthful in anything he does. So, with this information, we can be certain that he will not be an obvious person to avoid!!  The lie that he is selling us is that his physical appearance is ugly and displeasing, so we think we will be alerted when he approaches, but the TRUTH is, he will appear to us as a friend (angel of light) who is reasonable, kind and friendly. 2 Thessalonians 2:9 even tells us that he is capable of displaying “all kinds of counterfeit miracles, signs and wonders”!!

Good vs. Evil:

So, this is where the danger truly lies.  Satan’s greatest asset is that he appears to be “good”, “reasonable” and he makes complete “sense” to us as he approaches us and appeals to our common sense, our “logic”, and the desires of our “flesh”.  James 1:14 warns us that we can, “by [our] own evil desire, [be] dragged away and enticed.”  Satan presents things to us that are “good” and reasonable to our common sense, and then he twists God’s truth and causes us to doubt God’s word "Did God really say, 'You must not eat from any tree in the garden'?"… “You will not surely die, the serpent said to the woman… For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil” (Genesis 3:3-5)

Obedience vs. Common Sense:

Have you been dragged away and enticed?  Has God given you a calling or instructions that “reason” and “common sense” caused you to doubt God’s word?  I know I have! When I think about the struggle between common sense and obedience, I can't help but think about Abraham and what God asked him to do.  If I knew someone that told me that “God said” to sacrifice his son…  I would seriously question this person’s sanity!!  Common sense would say “God wouldn’t ask us to sacrifice our children”!!  Why would He do that!!?  Especially the LONG awaited son that was the result of a promise and a couple of miracles!  I have to admit, I would have struggled BIG TIME with those instructions!  I think I would have listened to “reason” and “common sense” and reasoned that maybe I had eaten something bad the night before and ignored those instructions.  But, there is nothing written about any struggles Abraham might have had.  The Bible tells us that “Early the next morning Abraham got up and saddled his donkey.” (Genesis 22:3) and set out on the 3 day journey.  There was no hesitation… Even with that said, I can’t help but wonder, what went through his mind during those three days?  Did Satan come in and try to persuade him to turn around and go home by causing him to doubt?  I have to think that Abraham was not immune to the powers of Satan, BUT, we do have a little insight into the heart and mind of Abraham in the New Testament.  Paul tells us in Romans, regarding the promised birth of Isaac, that “he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God,” (Romans 4:20).  And then the writer of Hebrews speaks about Abraham’s faith regarding God’s instructions to sacrifice Isaac; “Abraham reasoned that God could raise the dead,” (Hebrews 11:19).  Wow.  Now that is a man of FAITH.  His belief and relationship with God was SO good that there was no doubt in Abraham’s mind that God could and would do something… be it raise Isaac from the dead, or some other miracle, and he was still obedient even if God’s instructions did not make sense to him.  He did not let fear, doubt or common sense redirect his steps away from the task God set before him.  LORD, help me get there!!!

Faith vs. Understanding:

Ok, I’m sorry I think I digressed just a little bit there.  Anyway, just to reiterate, I believe one of Satan’s greatest deceptions is persuading us to believe that he is “dark and sinister” so that he can sneak in as "good and reasonable" to deceive us.  Then we actually believe that when we are listening to him,  we are doing the “right” and “good” thing, when actually, we are being disobedient, and being robbed of a greater relationship with our Lord and Savior.  Here are a couple scriptures that come to mind regarding our thoughts and understanding: "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding…” (Proverbs 3:5). And another good one is:  “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8)  How can we possibly think we can out reason God or understand His ways and plans for us?? God says NOT to lean on our understanding and tells us that His thoughts are WAY beyond anything we can possibly wrap our minds around.  So, the bottom line for all of us is, to have faith in God and trust that what He says is true and to be obedient to His word.  Don’t allow doubt, fear and common sense take you out of God’s will and His plan for you. Satan will always oppose God and convince us that He is unreasonable. “Without faith, it is impossible to please God” (Hebrews 11:6) It doesn’t take faith to do the “logical” or "reasonable" thing!  “There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death!” Proverbs 14:12

Lord help us!

Lord Jesus, I pray that you would give us discernment to know the difference between Your voice and the enemy’s voice.  Your word tells us that Your sheep know Your voice…  I know that this “knowledge” comes from our “relationship” with You!  Help me Lord to pursue you with all my heart so that I can discern clearly the voice of the enemy!  Thank you Lord for leading and guiding us and for being the Light upon our path.  May we set aside the natural man’s desire to reason and allow Your Spirit to guide us no matter how “crazy. Illogical, or unreasonable” it seems, and trust in you with ALL our heart.  In Jesus name, Amen!

Words to LIVE by!

The other day I was searching for a scripture in e-sword, looking for the verse that said that God has already determined every place that we will “live” (which, btw, I found in Acts 17:26:”From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live.”)  So, when I searched under the word “live” in the New Testament, 121 scriptures came up and, as I was going through them, I was amazed at how many of these were instructions on how we should “live” as Christians!!  So, I thought I would pull them out and list them for myself:

Romans 1:17: "The righteous will live by faith."

Romans 8:4:”…do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit.”

Romans 12:18: “…live at peace with everyone.”

2 Corinthians 5:7: “…We live by faith, not by sight.”

2 Corinthians 5:15: “… [We] should no longer live for [ourselves] but for him who died for [us] and was raised again.”

2 Corinthians 10:3: “...though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does.”

Galatians 2:20: “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”

Galatians 3:11: “The righteous will live by faith."

Galatians 5:13: “You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love.”

Gal 5:14: “…Love your neighbor as yourself."

Galatians 5:16: “… live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature.”

Ephesians 4:1: “…I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.”

Ephesians 5:2: “…live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”

Ephesians 5:8: “... Live as children of light”

Ephesians 5:15: “…Be very careful, then, how you live--not as unwise but as wise,”

Philippians 4:4: “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!”

Philippians 4:5: “Let your gentleness be evident to all…”

Philippians 4:6: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God…”

Philippians 4:8: “...whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.”

Colossians 1:10: “…live a life worthy of the Lord and may [you] please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God,”

Colossians 2:6: “… just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him…”

1Thessalonians 2:12: “… [we are] encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory.”

1Thessalonians 4:3: “…you should avoid sexual immorality…”

1Thessalonians 4:4: “… you should learn to control [your] own body in a way that is holy and honorable…”

1Thessalonians 4:7: “…God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life.”

1Thessalonians 4:11: “Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands…”

1Thessalonians 5:13: “… Live in peace with each other.”

1Timothy 2:2: “…that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness.”

Titus 2:2: “…Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance.”

Titus 2:3: “…Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good.”

Titus 2:4-5: “… train the younger women to love their husbands and children… [ to be] self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.”

Titus 2:6: “… encourage the young men to be self-controlled.”

Titus 2:12: “… say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age…”

Titus 3:14: “… learn to devote [yourselves] to doing what is good… and not live unproductive lives.”

Hebrews 10:38: “…my righteous one will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him."

Hebrews 12:9: “… submit to the Father of our spirits and live!”

Hebrews 12:14: “Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.”

Hebrews 13:18: “…desire to live honorably in every way.”

James 3:13: “…Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom.”

James 3:17: “…But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.”

James 3:18: “Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.”

1Peter 1:17: “…live your lives as strangers here in reverent fear.”

1Peter 2:16: “Live as free men, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as servants of God.”

1Peter 2:24: “…die to sins and live for righteousness…”

1Peter 3:7-8: “Husbands… be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect…”

1Peter 3:8: “…all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble.”

1Peter 4:2: “… [do] not live the rest of his earthly life for evil human desires, but rather for the will of God.”

1Peter 4:11: “…If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides…”

1Peter 4:12-13: “…do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.”

2 Peter 3:11: “…You ought to live holy and godly lives”

2 Peter 3:14: “… make every effort to be found spotless, blameless and at peace with him.”

2 Peter 3:17: “…be on your guard so that you may not be carried away by the error of lawless men and fall from your secure position.”

2 Peter 3:18: “…grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.”

1John 2:6: “Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did.”

1John 3:24: “Those who obey his commands live in him, and he in them.”

Matthew 4:4: “Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.' "

There are still MANY more instructions like these but I think these are a good representation of what is listed and they will keep me busy for awhile…!!!

Father, I pray that these words and instructions will burn in my heart and mind and guide me in my daily life as I allow the Holy Spirit to remind and instruct me. I thank you Lord for making these instructions available to me and then giving me the desire and the strength to live them out. In your Holy Name I pray, Amen.