March was a very intense month! Many things happened and I even had one week that was super intense!
God continues to speak to me about doing a “new thing” in my life. I have pretty much let go of doing another FWO group… not really sure whether this means “this year” or “ever” but I continue to take one day at a time as I wait on the Lord’s direction. The good news is that Stacy started up her group on April 5th! I am very excited for her and I know she will do a fabulous job! :)
I have been feeling very stretched lately. It’s like the Lord is saying “Ok Linda, now that you have a handle on what I have given you up to this point, let’s go deeper!” Even though I am not doing a group, He continues to bring women to me, only these women are struggling with things that I have never dealt with before!! Super and intense situations that, not only have I not experienced myself, but really have no experience with helping anyone with before. The thought that comes to mind is, “it’s not about what YOU can do Linda, but about what God will do through you!” When I think I have the answers, I run ahead of the Lord with what I think these ladies need, but, when I have “NO CLUE”, I can only look to HIM for the answers (and to be honest, HE truly IS the answer for all things, situations and circumstances). I have gone from familiar to unfamiliar territories and have to trust the Lord more than ever for the words and the resources for these women… which is exactly where He wants me to be!
One of the new things that has come across my plate is that I was asked to speak to a MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group. I let them know I had never been asked to speak before so this would be a first for me and they still were willing to take a chance and proceed with me. A noteworthy point is that my speaking date was on March 22nd, my 31st spiritual birthday!! What a neat way to celebrate 31 years of walking with the Lord! So anyway, typically in the past, when I have had opportunities to get in front of people to say something, even for a minute, I completely choke! My brain freezes, my heart pounds in my chest, my mouth goes completely dry, I stammer, stutter and walk away wondering what the heck I just said and if I made any sense to anyone!! I think they call that stage fright! So, knowing this about myself, I wondered what on earth I was going to do in this situation. I had 30 minutes to speak on Sexual addiction which seemed, in one respect, such a “short” period of time to try to fit in everything that I needed to say, and then in another respect, an “eternity” to have to stand up there in front of these people! I was asked to speak early in Oct of 2010 and at that time, March seemed so far away! I wasn’t stressed or nervous about it until about mid February… then, when I started thinking about it, my stomach would do flip-flops and I would start wondering if I would “choke” again like I have in the past. So, I decided to take that time and really process “why” I get nervous and spent some time in prayer asking the Lord to help me understand this aspect of myself. What was I afraid of? Was it pride and the fear of failure? Or looking stupid? I think it would be safe to say “all of the above”! I also asked several people to pray for me which I know helped quite a bit. So, in the end, I have to say, God pulled through for me big time! I had the biggest frog in my throat all that morning and thought, in addition to “dry mouth”, I would be clearing my throat the whole time so I brought some water up with me. But, once I got started, miraculously things just started clicking for me! Everything went great! When I was done I saw my water bottle sitting on the podium and it was then that I realized I did not take one drink, and I didn’t clear my throat even once the entire time! THAT was the amazing signature and fingerprint of God! He is so amazingly faithful!!
So, that was a Tuesday, and on Thursday morning I got a call from Gerry. She asked me if I could come early that day because she had “taken a little spill” the night before and was in quite a bit of pain and asked if I would take her to the doctors! As it turned out, she broke her hip and had to have surgery the next day. So, I spent quite a bit of time at the hospital and taking care of things for her while she was there. She is currently MUCH better and in a nursing home rehab facility and doing great! She has a doctor’s appointment tomorrow and should be released sometime this week. Since she lives at home alone, her son plans to drive her to Atlanta to stay with him and his family until she is fully recovered and they are confident that she can go back to living alone again.
Another update is that we were really hoping, and actually planning, to go to CA for this years family reunion in June but, at this point in time, it looks like we will not be able to go. Since Candis works for the airlines she offered us her “non-rev” passes which would only cost us the amount of the taxes. At that time, just a few months ago, the taxes were around $100 per ticket but now, for some reason, they have increased to almost $300 dollars each! The amount of a regular ticket price! Not to mention we would be last on the list for each flight, not knowing when, or if, we would ever arrive! Then, Tom’s parents called to let us know that there wasn’t any room in anyone’s car to drive to Ramona with so we would need to rent a car and drive ourselves and then we would need to get a hotel room because there wasn’t room in the house for us to stay for the weekend. So… that just increased our cost right out of the realm of possibilities!! Tom is really bummed about it, especially since he missed his parent’s 80th birthday celebration in April as well. I know he misses his family and really wants to get there at some point in time! But, for some reason, God is shutting those doors.
Another part of being “stretched” at this time is that God’s provision has decreased again to what it was before we started working for the B&B. Our needs are still met but we don’t have as much “extra” as we have gotten used to having. Part of that is due to the fact that gas prices have gone up again to almost $4 a gallon!! It costs us $55 to fill the tank now!! That is pretty much what I get from Gerry each week and it used to buy gas and groceries… now we can just get gas. But, God’s faithfulness is never ending! He has provided for us each and every day. If not with cash, we get food given to us at random times from random people! We never get tired of watching God work :)
Thank you Lord that YOU are in control of all things! There is nothing that goes on that is surprise to you and nothing that is not within Your knowledge and control. You always tell us in Your word “do not be afraid!” because with you in control, there is nothing to be afraid of! I rest in Your loving and very strong arms as all manner of things come and go in my world. Only You are worthy Lord of honor, praise and glory. In Jesus name, amen!
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