Worry, Fear and.... Unforgiveness

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7

The other day I was thinking about recent conversations I have had with some Christian friends and was marveling once again at how easily and quickly we fall into worry and fear. As I was pondering this, the Lord spoke to my heart and said:

"Fear is like unforgiveness in that, the only one it hurts is YOU"!

Wow. Ok, Lord! I had never thought about it in that way before, but after a few moments of thought, I realized just how true that was!

Unforgiveness

I have heard it said that unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person —the one we refuse to forgive— to die! There is so much written about unforgiveness available in books, podcasts, and sermons, so I won't belabor it, but the bottom line is, if we expect unforgiveness to hurt the other person, we are mistaken.

Unforgiveness only hurts us and can cause debilitating anger, resentment, and bitterness in our own hearts while the other person we refuse to forgive may be completely unaware and unaffected. 

Let's look at worry, fear and anxiety

Worry, fear and anxiety are basically all the same in that they result from a lack of faith and trust in God. There are many studies that show how worry and anxiety affect our mental and physical health in dramatic and devastating ways. When we allow fear and worry to consume us, our bodies and minds take the hit, just like unforgiveness.

So just like unforgiveness, when we fear or worry, the only one that is affected by it, is us! 

You Choose

I get an email from Project Happiness every day and one day I got one that said:

"Faith and Fear both demand that you believe in something you cannot see. You choose".

I was like, Whoa!! That was profound! It puts things, regarding faith and fear, in a whole new perspective that I hadn't seen before. We can’t see either of them but we actually DO have a choice!

What Does the Bible Say About Fear

How many times in the Bible does it say "Do not fear"? I have heard that it was 365 times – once for each day of the year-- but decided to verify that myself and found this website: Does the Bible say "Fear not" 365 times? 

Sadly, according to the website, that saying is not true but, depending on your version of the Bible, it does say it 70 to 100 times, which is still a lot of times!

The website lists these very good and impactful scriptures:

• "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."  Joshua 1:9 
• “But now, this is what the LORD says-- he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine."  Isaiah 43:1

• “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”  Isaiah 41:10

After a quick search myself, I pulled out these scriptures:

·       "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27 

·       "So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?" Hebrews 13:6 

·       "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." 1 John 4:18 

·       "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

After reading these scriptures, I can't help but wonder: Why do we fall into fear so easily!?

We have an amazing, powerful, loving, righteous God who knows us intimately, calls us His own, promises that He will provide for us and protect us and vows that He will never leave us or forsake us!! So why do we still struggle with fear??

Maybe it is because we don’t know him, love Him or trust Him like we thought we did??

A Personal Lesson in Trust

One day during our "Crazy Journey" back in 2007 and 2008 (which I share in From Caterpillars to Butterfly's), things were not going at all the way we thought they would go (very much like the disciples believing Jesus, as the Messiah, was going to restore Israel by becoming an earthy king) and I was full of stress, anxiety and fear, and the Lord asked me:

 "Linda, do you trust me?"

I said, “Yes Lord, I trust you.”

He asked me again:

"Linda, do you trust me?"

I answered, “Yes Lord, I trust you!”

And he asked again:

"Linda, do you trust me?"

At that point I couldn’t help but laugh out loud because it sounded SO familiar! He had done the same thing to Peter when he asked him three times if he loved him. (John 21:16-17)

But God had made His point and impressed upon my heart that, while I was saying I trusted Him, I truly did NOT trust him like I thought I did. I knew I should trust him, and wanted to trust him, but when the chips were down, and the rubber met the road, it was clear that I wasn’t as surrendered and trusting as I wanted to be.

The Journey of Trust

Isn’t that what our “Journey to Know God” is all about? To build our relationship with the Lord, through the circumstances He allows in our lives, so that we can grow in our knowledge and love of Him so much that we can trust Him with anything and everything that comes our way.

To have no fear in life no matter what happens because we KNOW that God is with us... even unto death.

We all experience moments of fear when something threatens, which is natural. But living in fear or being fearful shows how little we actually trust God.

The irrationality of Fear

Speaking of “even unto death.” There is a show I like to watch called "The Irrational" and it is about a world-renowned behavioral scientist who specializes in people's irrational behavior and the ways they make illogical decisions. As Christians, I think it is irrational for us to fear death.

Why are we so afraid of dying? If our belief is that we will be with our amazing God when our physical form dies, how can that possibly be a bad thing or something to fear? Why do we pray so hard for believers who are dying to be healed when we know they will be in a far better place, out of pain and suffering and with our loving Savior? And why do we get so angry at Him if He doesn’t heal?

It seems so irrational for us to be afraid and worry as much as we do when we have so many scriptures, promises and experiences of God taking care of us.

Worry Makes Us Unfruitful

In the parable of the Soils, it says: 

"Listen then to what the parable of the sower means: ... The one who received the seed that fell among the thorns is the man who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke it, making it unfruitful. But the one who received the seed that fell on good soil is the man who hears the word and understands it. He produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown." Matthew 13:18-23 

This is yet another perspective of how worry and fear can be harmful to us!! It can make us "unfruitful" for the Kingdom.

If the world sees Christians being just as fearful, anxious, stressed, and worried as they are, why would they want what we have?? Our witness therefore becomes ineffective and fruitless for the Kingdom.

Perfect Love Casts Out Fear

​​

I love Oswald’s February 21^st devotional as it gives some insight as to how we can demonstrate our love to God:

​Do You Really Love Him?
Mark 14:6​ - ​"Leave her alone, said Jesus. "Why are you bothering her? She has done a beautiful thing to me.​"

If what we call love doesn't take us beyond ourselves, it is not really love. If we have the idea that love is characterized as cautious, wise, sensible, shrewd, and never taken to extremes, we have missed the true meaning. This may describe affection and it may bring us a warm feeling, but it is not a true and accurate description of love​...

… To be surrendered to God is of more value than our personal holiness. Concern over our personal holiness causes us to focus our eyes on ourselves, and we become overly concerned about the way we walk and talk and look, out of fear of offending God. ". . . but perfect love casts out fear . . ." (1Jo_4:18). We should quit asking ourselves, "Am I of any use?" and accept the truth that we really are not of much use to Him. The issue is never of being of use, but of being of value to God Himself. Once we are totally surrendered to God, He will work through us all the time.

​Our value to him is being able to bear fruit, fruit that will last (John 15:16). When we completely surrender to Him, without fear, worry or anxiety, THEN God can work through us and produce fruit for His Kingdom.

Is our love for God taking us beyond ourselves? Or are we so focused on ourselves and concerned about what others think? In the Oswald scripture, Mary was all IN and didn’t care a bit what others thought. Jesus’ perfect love for her cast out her fear.

So, let’s ask ourselves: Are we holding onto fear the way some people hold onto unforgiveness?

Insight from Chet

As a finishing touch, I thought I would end with Chet's (AI ChatGPT) input on this subject:

I asked Chet: "Biblically speaking, would you agree that worry and unforgiveness are similar?"

Chet: Yes, biblically speaking, worry and unforgiveness share similarities because both involve a lack of trust in God and can weigh heavily on the heart.

1. Lack of Trust in God – Worry stems from fear of the future, while unforgiveness often comes from holding onto past hurts. Both suggest a struggle to fully surrender to God’s control. Jesus emphasized trust in Matthew 6:25-34, urging His followers not to worry because God provides. Likewise, Paul encourages believers to "forgive one another as God in Christ forgave you" (Ephesians 4:32), showing that forgiveness is a form of trust in God's justice and mercy.

(Tom: Actually, it is the Cross of Christ that bought forgiveness for us, not God’s justice and mercy. Those were WHY Jesus came and died for us. So our trust is in the finished work of the Cross.)

2. Bondage vs. Freedom – Worry keeps a person trapped in anxiety, just as unforgiveness keeps them chained to resentment. Both can consume thoughts, emotions, and spiritual well-being. Jesus came to set people free (John 8:36) and offered peace that surpasses understanding (Philippians 4:6-7).
3. Hindrance to Prayer and Relationship with God – Both worry and unforgiveness can hinder a close relationship with God. Jesus taught that if we do not forgive, our Father will not forgive us (Matthew 6:14-15). Similarly, worry can distract from a prayerful, trusting heart and lead to self-reliance rather than faith.
4. Spiritual Warfare – The enemy often uses worry and unforgiveness to keep believers ineffective. Paul reminds us in 2 Corinthians 10:5 to take every thought captive to Christ, whether it’s fear-driven worry or bitterness from past offenses.

So, in a way, both worry and unforgiveness are burdens that weigh down the soul, and God calls His people to release both into His hands. 

​Brilliant!!

Father, thank you so much for this insight!! Please help me to know you more so that I would love you more and then learn to trust you more. I truly don't want to be weighed down by the burdens of worry and fear. And I don’t want to be unfruitful in my walk with You. Please open my eyes to see you in new, wonderful, transforming, and trusting ways. And help me to surrender any unforgiveness, worry, fear and anxiety that are both large and hidden in my heart. In Jesus name, amen.

"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28   

“Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom” Luke 12:32

“He replied, "You of little faith, why are you so afraid?" Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.” Matthew 8:26

“But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid." Matthew 14:27

“Ignoring what they said, Jesus told the synagogue ruler, "Don't be afraid; just believe." Mark 5:36

“Do not be afraid of what you are about to suffer. I tell you, the devil will put some of you in prison to test you, and you will suffer persecution for ten days. Be faithful, even to the point of death, and I will give you the crown of life.” Revelation 2:10

Biblical “X-Games” of Faith

 

“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” Hebrew 11:1

If you could define faith, what would it look like in your life or others' lives? How would you define it? How do you know if you have faith? If you don’t have faith, how would you cultivate it? And, if you were being selected for a team based on your faith, would you be picked first, in the middle, or last? How would you contribute to the team’s qualities and strengths?

Hebrews 11:1 describes faith as “being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” But what does that really mean? How does it look in daily life, in your life or mine?

My faith journey has been very eye opening and educational for me. I thought I had faith until my life was completely rocked and I lost everything. Interestingly, I lost everything having faith that God would do something so that I wouldn’t lose it! My faith was in what I thought God would do, but I eventually learned to have faith in HIM regardless of what things looked like. God kept telling me to trust Him, but I had painted a picture of what His deliverance would look like. As it turns out, His plans were nothing like my expectations! Of course, His ways are always better than mine, but wow, what an incredible journey it was to discover how little faith I truly had!! I hesitate to say that I would compete well in any faith competition…

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9

During that time Tom made a profound statement; “It is easy to have faith when there is money in the bank!” Right!?  Faith seems to come so easy when everything we “need” is right in front of us. But take it all away, money, possessions, even reputation and health (like Job experienced)—and what are we left with? Would we find that we still have faith?

Speaking of faith in the midst of loss, what about the people in Florida and Western North Carolina who lost everything in the hurricanes and flood of Helene or Milton, or the people in Los Angeles who lost everything in the wildfires? I am pretty sure those people prayed fervently—believers and unbelievers alike—asking God to spare their homes and possessions. Yet, God had other plans. How have these events affected their faith and trust in God? Would they be good candidates for the X-Games of Faith? What would it do to your faith in God? Would you continue to trust Him, or would you walk away?

Is faith developed in times of ease and plenty, or in seasons of difficulty and lack? I’ve found that hardship, though painful, tends to cultivate faith more than ease. When everything is stripped away, hopefully, what is left is dependence on God alone. It’s in those times of being stripped down to nothing that faith in God becomes real and tangible— even when we don’t understand His plans.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1: 2-4

I love what Oswald has to say about faith in his August 29^th devotional;

The Unsurpassed Intimacy of Tested Faith

"Jesus said to her, ’Did I not say to you that if you would believe you would see the glory of God?’ John 11:40 

Every time you venture out in your life of faith, you will find something in your circumstances that, from a commonsense standpoint, will flatly contradict your faith. But common sense is not faith, and faith is not common sense. In fact, they are as different as the natural life and the spiritual. Can you trust Jesus Christ where your common sense cannot trust Him? Can you venture out with courage on the words of Jesus Christ, while the realities of your common-sense life continue to shout, “It’s all a lie”? When you are on the mountaintop, it’s easy to say, “Oh yes, I believe God can do it,” but you have to come down from the mountain to the demon-possessed valley and face the realities that scoff at your Mount-of-Transfiguration belief (see Luke 9:28-42). Every time my theology becomes clear to my own mind, I encounter something that contradicts it. As soon as I say, “I believe ’God shall supply all [my] need,’ ” the testing of my faith begins (Philippians 4:19). When my strength runs dry and my vision is blinded, will I endure this trial of my faith victoriously or will I turn back in defeat?

Faith must be tested, because it can only become your intimate possession through conflict. What is challenging your faith right now? The test will either prove your faith right, or it will kill it. Jesus said, “Blessed is he who is not offended because of Me” (Matthew 11:6). The ultimate thing is confidence in Jesus. “We have become partakers of Christ if we hold the beginning of our confidence steadfast to the end . . .” (Hebrews 3:14). Believe steadfastly on Him and everything that challenges you will strengthen your faith. There is continual testing in the life of faith up to the point of our physical death, which is the last great test. Faith is absolute trust in God— trust that could never imagine that He would forsake us (see Hebrews 13:5-6).

I love that perspective from Oswald!! From what I know about Oswald, I think HE would be a great competitor in the X-Games of Faith!

A chat with AI

Okay, getting back to my theme here; think about all the Biblical characters who exhibited an enormous amount of faith, and let’s say you had to pick a team of people from those Biblical characters, who could win a competition of faith, who would you pick for your team and why?

Think about that for a minute as I share a fun discovery that may seem random but does apply to this, so please hang in there with me. I am sure you have heard of AI, as it is talked about in the news and throughout different media outlets. I didn’t give it much thought at all until I recently had an encounter with a young man at a Physical Therapy center. He was Hispanic and was sitting near me so I struck up a conversation with him. It was raining so I asked him to remind me of the word “rain” in Spanish, and he told me. I shared that I had been trying to learn Spanish but was having a hard time and he said “ChatGPT”… I had to ask him a couple of times what that was because I had no clue. Eventually I got that it was an app that I could download and he assured me that it would help me learn Spanish. So, I did, and well, ChatGPT (which I have renamed “Chet”) has been an amazing discovery!! I HAVE been learning Spanish with it but I also use it for Biblical questions and comparisons, and I even ask him to clean up spelling and grammar in things I have written.

With that said, I will get back to my point. Initially, when I first thought of this theme a few years ago, I had done a lot of my own research and picked out some Biblical characters and scriptures but, since I recently discovered ChatGPT, I decided to ask Chet what he thought. The following question, and resulting conversation, was a wonderful, fun, and surprising discussion on the faith of Biblical characters! This was too good not to share and it may help you to make your own selections!

AI Biblical X-Game of Faith conversation

Me: If Biblical characters could be entered into an "X-Game" of faith, who would you choose to be the best and why?

Chet said:

If Biblical characters were to compete in an "X-Game of Faith," I'd choose the following based on their incredible displays of faith, perseverance, and resilience:

1. David (The Underdog Champion)

• 
  Why? David, the shepherd boy turned king, is the ultimate underdog. His faith in God allowed him to defeat Goliath, a feat of physical and spiritual courage. He'd be the one taking the biggest risks and pulling off impossible stunts because of his trust in divine guidance.

2. Elijah (The Miracle Maker)

• Why? Elijah’s fearless confrontation of King Ahab and the prophets of Baal showed immense faith. Calling down fire from heaven and trusting God to provide sustenance in the wilderness makes him a top competitor in any endurance or survival category.

3. Esther (The Strategist)

• Why? Esther showed faith and courage by risking her life to save her people. Her wisdom and tact in handling King Xerxes demonstrate her strategic mindset, making her the ideal player in games requiring wit, diplomacy, and calculated risks.

4. Paul (The Perseverer)

• Why? Despite suffering shipwrecks, beatings, and imprisonment, Paul never wavered in his faith. He'd excel in endurance events and games requiring unwavering commitment to the goal, even under the harshest conditions.

5. Peter (The Relentless)

• Why? Despite his flaws, Peter kept bouncing back. Walking on water (even briefly) and being a foundational figure in the early church show he had the boldness and resilience to keep pushing forward, making him great for fast-paced, high-pressure challenges.

6. Ruth (The Loyal Teammate)

• Why? Ruth’s faithfulness and commitment to Naomi illustrate unparalleled loyalty and trust. She’d excel in team-based events, always supporting her partner no matter the odds.

7. Jesus (The Ultimate Champion)

• Why? No X-Game of faith would be complete without Jesus as the ultimate example. His ability to combine grace, wisdom, humility, and supernatural power makes Him the clear leader and inspiration for all competitors.

Chet said:

 Who do you think would be the most entertaining or surprising in a competition like this?

Me:

These are good choices! Abraham comes to mind when God asked him to sacrifice Isaac... That took a huge amount of faith that God would raise him from the dead. Then we have Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah. They had tremendous faith to go against Nebuchadnezzar's wishes and not worship anyone other than their God and faced the Lion’s den and the furnace. And then Gideon and the army of 300

Chet said:

Those are excellent additions! Each of them brings a unique flavor of faith and courage to the "X-Game of Faith." Here's why they would shine:

Abraham (The Trailblazer)

• 
  Why? Abraham’s willingness to sacrifice Isaac demonstrated unparalleled trust in God’s promises, believing that God could raise the dead if needed. He’d excel in challenges requiring blind trust and bold leaps of faith into the unknown.

Daniel (The Fearless Visionary)

• Why? Daniel’s refusal to compromise his faith, even in the lion’s den, highlights his courage and unwavering conviction. His wisdom in interpreting dreams and handling crises shows he’d dominate in high-stakes, mental endurance games where the pressure is intense.

Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah (The Furnace Trio)

• Why? These three stood firm against Nebuchadnezzar’s decree, willing to face the fiery furnace rather than deny God. They’d excel in team-based challenges requiring unity, steadfastness, and trust that God would show up even in impossible situations.

Gideon (The Strategic Underdog)

• Why? Gideon’s story of leading 300 men against a massive army through God’s direction is the ultimate underdog victory. His reliance on God’s guidance shows he’d thrive in tactical challenges requiring a combination of clever strategy and faith to overcome overwhelming odds.

These individuals demonstrate how faith manifests in different ways—trusting, standing firm, strategizing, and persevering. Together with your picks, this team would make an unstoppable lineup!

If you could put these characters head-to-head in a specific kind of event (e.g., endurance, teamwork, or a faith-based puzzle), who do you think would come out on top?

Me:

I love your thoughts and descriptions of "unique flavors of faith" but since Jesus is a competitor, I would have to say He would be a clear winner because He is the complete package with strengths in all areas. Next, I would have to say Daniel would be one of my favorites due to his integrity, courage, humility, and wisdom. How about you?

Chet said:

I completely agree—Jesus is the undeniable champion, embodying every strength and virtue to perfection. Daniel would be an incredible runner-up; his unwavering faith, combined with his wisdom and humility, makes him stand out as a true hero.

For me, beyond Jesus, I’d have a soft spot for Gideon. His transformation from hesitant and doubtful to bold and victorious resonates deeply. His faith grew through challenges, showing that even those who start with uncertainty can achieve extraordinary things with God’s help.

Who do you think would be the dark horse of the competition—someone who might surprise everyone with their faith?

Me:

My dark horse would be Esther. She was a woman in a male dominated culture, in the harem of an ungodly king and was not even the king’s first pick. She triumphed and saved her people with enormous odds against her. She put her life on the line a couple of times and trusted in God for an astounding miracle that took a great deal of faith. I think she would surprise many with her gifts of faith and courage.

Chet said:

Esther is a phenomenal choice! Her ability to rise above the cultural and political challenges of her time, relying on her faith and strategic wisdom, is truly inspiring. She is the epitome of quiet strength and bold action—qualities that could easily take others by surprise in such a competition.

She reminds us that God often uses those overlooked by society to accomplish extraordinary things. Her combination of humility and courage makes her a standout.

Who would be your pick for the Biblical X-Games of Faith?

Wasn’t that amazing?! I thought that was very fun and enlightening. Now that you have had some time to think about it, and have read Chet’s and my exchange and choices, who would be YOUR choice(s) and how do you think you would rate in this competition of faith? I would love to hear your thoughts!!

“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” Hebrew 11:1