Am I looking for God’s blessings or am I looking to GOD who has the blessings? This is one of my favorite “Oswaldisms” and the question that arises in me today. Yesterday was an interesting and tough day. We had a wedding here at the Inn and Beth arrived here at 6am, my normal waking up time so I launched into the day helping her with the wedding preparations. She was the only one going into her office for the day so she gave me instructions on how to set the wedding up and then had to go back to her office. There were a lot of little things to do plus I had to bake some banana bread for the guests that were arriving for the weekend as well. I found myself grumbling and complaining about how much work there was to do and how little Tom was helping me out. He had a couple of meetings that morning and set up the chairs for me when he got home and did a couple little odds and ends but then, because the downstairs air conditioner was broken he disappeared to our room for most of the day. I would catch myself thinking about how much I wished he would help me more but then I would set it aside only to pick it up again shortly thereafter… It wasn’t a constant thing but certainly nagged at me throughout the day. The wedding was at 6pm so at about 4:00 I ran upstairs to take a shower. It was a hot and sticky day of 92 degrees and with a broken air conditioner I definitely needed a shower!
When I came back downstairs they had brought the wedding cake and Beth wanted some pictures of it so I grabbed my camera out of the cabinet and under the camera was a bunch of cash so I looked at Beth and asked if it was for the wedding, (meaning my payment for working the wedding) and she confirmed it was for the wedding so I took it, and rather than take it upstairs to Tom, (I copped an attitude thinking "why should I give him the money since he did so little") I rolled it up and put it in my eye glass case and put that back in the cabinet to keep it safe. Well at the end of the very long, hard and tiring day (from 6am to 9:30pm) I went to my eye glass case to get my glasses and to put the money away and to my utter disbelief it was gone! The money was not in my eye glass case where I had left it! After my initial shock and disbelief, I wondered if somebody had seen me put it there and helped themselves to it when the opportunity was right. So, after I confirmed that Tom had not seen and taken it, I called Beth but had to leave a message saying that the money she gave me was not where I put it and asked if she knew where it was.
Well that whole situation sent a cascade of thoughts and emotions running through my head and heart. I was so discouraged and upset and thought “I worked so hard for so long for NOTHING!” and then the Lord quietly spoke to my heart and said “Linda, what are you doing this for? Is it for Me or the money?” That was a very good question! As I pondered my answer I reflected back to my grumbling and complaining heart during the day and realized that I had been focusing on all the wrong things… and I realized then that I had lost my joy. When I first started working the weddings for Beth I did it without really caring about the help (or lack of it) or the compensation and I did it for the joy of being able to help Beth out… oh how quickly my heart changed!! I was very humbled and thought that the person who took the money must have needed it more than I did and I shifted my focus from looking for God’s blessing onto looking to GOD who has the blessing and trusted God for His provision and that if I needed the money, it would have still been there.
Even with that settled in my heart and mind, I still had a hard time falling asleep as I pondered all these things and I eventually did doze off but when I woke up in the wee hours of the morning the thoughts of the missing money kicked in again and I eventually decided that I needed to spend some time with my Lord so I got up just before 5am to spend time with the "King of Kings who is passionate about His relationship with me"… and to get my mind right before I started my day serving the guests.
Of course, He was there waiting for me with a big grin on his face as I read this mornings Oswald… boy, it really set me straight again (like a spiritual chiropractor!) and helped me put this situation in perspective:
“God is the Master Designer, and He allows adversities into your life to see if you can jump over them properly --- "By my God I can leap over a wall" (Psa_18:29). God will never shield you from the requirements of being His son or daughter. First Peter 4:12 says, "Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you . . . ." Rise to the occasion --- do what the trial demands of you. It does not matter how much it hurts as long as it gives God the opportunity to manifest the life of Jesus in your body.
May God not find complaints in us anymore, but spiritual vitality --- a readiness to face anything He brings our way. The only proper goal of life is that we manifest the Son of God; and when this occurs, all of our dictating of our demands to God disappears. Our Lord never dictated demands to His Father, and neither are we to make demands on God. We are here to submit to His will so that He may work through us what He wants. Once we realize this, He will make us broken bread and poured-out wine with which to feed and nourish others….”
These amazing paragraphs reminded me that the “Master Designer” allowed the adversity into my life to adjust my attitude and reason for doing the things I do. I know that God is my provider so I wasn’t all that concerned about the “provision” but I was getting a little “self centered and selfish” and focused more on the money and the lack of assistance from Tom than just finding joy in doing these things for Beth because I know she really needs the help. It was WELL worth the money I lost to get that lesson and have my joy returned :) So, when Tom got up this morning, instead of my original plan of grumbling and complaining at him for all the things he didn’t do for me (which I rehearsed many times throughout the day), I threw my arms around him and with my joy returned and much sincerity, I thanked him for all the things that he DID do for me!
Lord, I thank you for this lesson and adjustment to my attitude as well as the reminder of why I am doing these things and who I am truly serving!
So, just because He can, God did a very cool thing for me. Beth called me back later in the morning and said that the money wasn’t mine, but that it was for the minister who did the wedding! So, when I asked her if the money was for the wedding, she said “yes” meaning it was for the minister who did the wedding. I told her where I had put the money so when it was time to pay him she got the money out of my eyeglass case to pay him before he left. She then paid me much more for doing that wedding than what she paid the minister and more than what I had thought I would get! God, you are so cool :) I was set up by God, in so many ways, so that I could get my perspective and attitude right again. Thank you Lord for loving me so much!
