Death and RESURRECTION

As per usual, I read the True Vine devotional this morning and below is an excerpt from what I read (here is the whole thing if you are interested: http://www.spiritoffire.org/ebooks/the%20true%20vine/vine05.htm

Excerpt from the True Vine devotional – John 15:1:

“…Christ ever lived in the spirit of what He once said: “The Son can do nothing of himself.” As dependent as a vine is on a husbandman for the place where it is to grow, for its fencing in and watering and pruning, Christ felt Himself entirely dependent on the Father every day for the wisdom and the strength to do the Father’s will. As He said in the previous chapter John 14:10: “The words that I say unto you, I speak not from Myself; but the Father abiding in Me doeth his works.” This absolute dependence had as its blessed counterpart the most blessed confidence that He had nothing to fear: the Father could not disappoint Him. With such a Husbandman as His Father, He could enter death and the grave. He could trust God to raise Him up. All that Christ is and has, He has, not in Himself, but from the Father…”

I have read this many times but this time something stuck out to me more than before. It was the line that said “He could trust God to raise Him up [from death and the grave].” He had nothing to FEAR… He could trust God to raise Him from the dead!!

I have a tendency to think of Jesus as more “God” than “man” and that all He did and said came easily to Him… But this morning I was reminded that He was 100% human as well as God.  He struggled with the same things and in the same ways WE do.  When I read this particular line this morning, “He could trust God to raise Him up.”, it not only reminded me of His humanness but it also reminded me of Abraham in that he also believed God could and would raise Isaac from the dead once he sacrificed him. But, instead of putting someone else to death, Jesus allowed Himself to be put to death and believe that God would raise Him from the dead! Wow. How incredibly hard was that?! I am sure His relationship, faith and belief in God made it somewhat easier, but again; I believe he had to battle His human side of things as well. He had to counter the lies that God couldn’t, wouldn’t and didn’t really ask Him to do that. He had to avoid reasoning His way out of it thinking things like “My loving Father would never ask me to do something like that!”  He had to counter the temptation to do what His disciples wanted Him to do, i.e. raise up an army and become the ruler and King in Jerusalem here on earth. He had to counter the enemy and the temptation to demand that “this cup be taken away …” and instead submit Himself to: “may your will be done." (Matthew 26:42)

But He was able to do this because why? Because, EVEN AS A HUMAN, He was absolutely and completely dependant upon His Father in Heaven and He had NO FEAR or doubt that God’s GOOD and PERFECT Will would be done in, and through Him.  He didn’t question the Fathers will, goodness or desire but TRUSTED Him completely. He knew that His flesh HAD to die in order for the Spirit to live, and live not only in Him but in us as well (“Unless I go away, the Counselor will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you.” John 16:7).  Jesus is our example of how WE need to live here on earth. Am I absolutely and completely dependant on God like Jesus was? Do I have the love, faith, and trust in God that Jesus did to be put to death...? And, am I as obedient?

 “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” Luke 9:23. In order for me to follow Jesus, I have to daily deny myself and crucify my flesh on the cross. Ok, to be honest, I have heard this for most of my Christian walk but the part that I missed before this morning was that, when I do actually manage to die to my flesh, I need to TRUST that the Father will RAISE ME FROM THE DEAD! Not in the physical form but in the spiritual. Not only that but that He will raise me to be better than I was… that His plans for me are for GOOD and not for HARM and that I will actually LIKE what He does with me.  Isn’t that where the difficulty lies? Do I trust that God will raise me from the dead, and when He does, will I like what He does with me?? Look what He did for Jesus! He surrendered His life to God and God raised Him from the dead, transformed him and sat Him on His right side, ruling along side of Him from the Throne of Heaven. Oh man! Just think of what He would have missed out on if He had catered to and given in to His “flesh” the “disciples” and the “enemy”! So, do I expect great things like that from God for me? The least I can do is expect that He can do greater and better things than I can!!  How many times have I missed out on the “best” that God has for me by allowing my flesh to lead my actions? Is my will and my way better than the creator of all the heavens and the earth? Can I put MY flesh to death daily and trust that, when I do, He will raise me up to be better than I was? Oh Lord, help me to get there!!

This makes me think of the caterpillar that goes into its cocoon willingly, surrendering its life and its transformation to God, and then immerging as a beautiful butterfly in flight! He was designed and created by God to do that but I think God uses His creation so we can see what He plans for us as well. Do we really want to stay as caterpillars when we can be transformed into butterflies?  This of course does not happen without a cost, the death of MY will and MY desires, but is the cost worth the results?

So, going back to the True Vine devotional analogy and summarizing, Jesus is the True Vine, completely submitting to the Father, relying completely upon Him for EVERYTHING. Having absolute trust and no fear that the Father would take care of Him and do what was needed for the Vines health and growth.  And, if we are to be the branches, grafted into the True Vine to become one with the Vine, can we be a different plant, producing our own fruit? I think we keep trying to do that and then we wonder why it isn't working!  Jesus is our example of becoming “entirely dependent” upon the Father for guidance, wisdom and strength to do His Fathers will everyday. We need to die to what we were before and trust that we will be raised from the dead and transformed into the butterflies and servants that He needs us to be to for HIS glory and HIS Kingdom purposes. But the first and most important question that we need to ask ourselves is, “do I trust that He will raise me from the dead…?”   

Oh Father, I look forward to the day when I can say “YES” without hesitation to that question. Only You know my heart both it’s corrupted side and it’s desires to do good and only You can help me to climb up on the sacrificial table each day and surrender my life and my will to You for Your purposes. Help me to TRUST You and Your goodness and help me to see that Your purposes are better than mine. Father, I DO believe you can raise me from the dead… but please, help me in my unbelief!

Upside Down: Humility vs. Pride

I have been thinking about the word “humility” for a few years now.  The Lord continues to bring it to mind as a quality He holds very dear so it is something I also desire in my life because of that. I always hear Him say “…learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart...” Matthew 11:29. As I read the Bible I see God’s desire for humility pop up all over the place; it’s in the Old Testament, in the prophesies, Proverbs, Job, and of course all throughout the New Testament.  The Lord is very consistent and persistent with communicating the things that are most important to Him and this seems to be one of them.  So, I have come to the conclusion that if you desire to know God, and want to be a disciple of the Lord, you will also need to come to know true humility because they are one and the same.

As I was thinking about writing this blog, I thought I better look the word up to make sure I knew what it really meant!!  You know how you go about “thinking” you know what a word means only to discover you were mistaken…?  So anyway, here is one definition I found that was a good representation of others that are out there: “… freedom from pride and arrogance; lowliness of mind; a modest estimate of one's own worth; a sense of one's own unworthiness through imperfection and sinfulness; self-abasement…” And, as I was searching the web for some things on humility I found a couple sayings regarding it: “Humility, a strange thing, the minute you think you’ve got it, you’ve lost it” and the other was “Humility does not mean you think less of yourself, it means you think of yourself less”. The definition and the sayings pretty much explain what humility is… right??

Well, as it turns out, after going through this research, and talking about it with Tom, I am walking away with more questions and am even less certain of what humility really is. I want to steer away from anything that would encourage “false” humility or even worse, “codependency” (which I struggle with!). But, for the purpose of this blog I will attempt to describe humility as I understand it now; It’s not that you feel like you are a weak, worthless, no good nothing, it’s that you KNOW who you are in Christ and you are completely reliant upon Him and your confidence rests in that and not in yourself or your own abilities. You know that you, being sinful, have been bought with a price, and even at your worst, Christ loved you enough to die for you. When we come face to face with this truth, of our sinfulness and His redeeming love for us, I think we are also faced with the reality of our NEED for Him in our every day lives.  This knowledge then compels us to set aside our desires, our wants, and our needs to be obedient “bond servants” of Christ, serving Him with our whole heart, mind, body, soul and strength. WE are not our main focus in our life anymore but it is Christ and His desires that are our main focus. Again, humility doesn’t mean you are a weak and wimpy person but instead, I think that it takes an incredibly courageous and strong person to be able to set aside their wants and desires to pick up the virtue of humility and become completely reliant upon Christ… for everything! I don’t see ANY weakness in that!!

So, that brings me to why this is part of the “upside down” series.  When I compare this definition of humility, or my understanding of it, to what the world teaches, I see that they are two entirely different things! The world teaches and trains us to think about and focus only on ourselves!  All the focus is on getting MY needs met and getting MY desires fulfilled. I deserve a break today; I deserve a vacation, a diamond, a yacht, a nice house, a nice car, a nicer stereo system, a nicer, better, prettier/handsomer spouse… I deserve to be treated better, to have more money, a better position at work, to get a raise, to get the promotion… Basically, it’s ALL ABOUT ME, and YOU, getting what WE want, and if necessary, stepping on or shoving to the side, anyone or anything that gets in our way. We are pumped full of “pride” and “self sufficiency” and we end up not caring or thinking about anyone else but ME and MY needs. That, my friend, I believe is completely upside down from the desires of Christ and the Kingdom!

So, with that said, I hope you will indulge me while I chew on the definition of humility a little more. Even with my current understanding and explanation, I still feel like I am missing something. The Bible says that “Moses was a very humble man, more humble than anyone else on the face of the earth.” (Numbers 12:3). What was it that made him so humble? Was it the 40 years of herding sheep after his prideful fall in Egypt? (I think that would humble anyone!) And then we see David, a man after God’s own heart. I believe he exhibited humility in that, when he was anointed king, he still honored Saul and didn’t “take” the kingdom from him but waited for God’s timing. But then we have Daniel, whom the angel of the Lord said “Do not be afraid, Daniel. Since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard, and I have come in response to them.” Daniel 10:12. What was it that created humility in Daniel?  Was it that he was, in one moment considered to be of noble birth and then when captured, considered a slave of Babylon? That would be a rude awakening for anyone!

And then of course we have Jesus, speaking of noble birth, who laid down his divinity to come to us as a baby, grew to be a man, to walk among us and to “seek and save what was lost” (Luke 19:10). 2 Corinthians tells us “…that though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich.” Jesus, the “sinless” one, the only person on earth who could have “lorded” His position over us, the only one who was qualified to condemn, judge and throw the first stone, chose instead to show mercy, compassion and forgive us all… the prostitutes, tax collectors, murders, adulterers, thieves… all of us who have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.

As Tom and I were talking about this, the word “intercession” came up.  Jesus intercedes for us at the throne of God. David interceded for his people as a king of Israel.  Moses interceded for his people and so did Daniel.  They saw themselves as “one of them”, not above or below them but they could relate enough with the struggles and the sin that they had compassion and sent up heart felt intercession on behalf of them. Could it be that this too is apart of humility? Having empathy and compassion for those around us enough to intercede for them?

Now, here is another thought. Oswald always talks about God’s nature in me, that He speaks to His Spirit who is in me.  Here is a quote along those lines: “There is no possibility of questioning God when He speaks, if He speaks to His own nature in me. Prompt obedience is the only result. When Jesus says, "Come," I simply come; when He says, "Let go," I let go; when He says, "Trust God in this matter," I trust. This work of obedience is the evidence that the nature of God is in me.” (My Utmost for His highest, November 17^th)  So, the thought is, since Jesus is “gentle and humble at heart” and His Spirit is in us, and if our desire is “more of you Lord and less of me”, then could God be working the attributes of Christ in us as we yield and die to ourselves? Could it be that Christ’s humility surfaces in us as we surrender our will and ways and allow Him to be Lord of our lives?

Ok, this is where I will stop and allow God to continue to reveal His heart and His plan for humility to me/us.  Thank you for indulging me this time to hash this out a little more.  What are YOUR thoughts regarding humility??  How do you see it and how do you think it is attained? I would love to get different insights, thoughts and perspectives on this.

Oh Father in heaven, please help us to focus on Your truths and Your Kingdom principles and ways and not the worlds.  Lord, show me what true humility is and what it looks like.  Help me to rid myself of pride, arrogance and self-righteousness and instead, embrace true humility which brings you delight.  Thank you Lord for Your Holy Spirit that will continue to teach and show us how to walk in Your ways and in Your humility.  I pray that you give us the courage and the strength to follow in Your footsteps.  In Jesus’ name I pray, amen!

“Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” Colossians 3:12

Upside down: The “deceitfulness” of wealth

"The one who received the seed that fell among the thorns is the man who hears the word, but the … deceitfulness of wealth choke it, making it unfruitful." Matthew 13:22

In my last "upside down" blog I listed the above Matthew scripture but focused on the "worries of this life" but now, I will be hitting the other aspect that “chokes [the word] making it unfruitful” in our lives, which is the "deceitfulness of wealth".  This little phrase needed a blog all its own :) I think the key word here is "deceitfulness"!!  Not that "wealth" in and of itself is wrong but that it can be "deceitful" if we do not place it in the proper place in our lives. Another scripture to note along with this one is: "For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil...." (1Timothy 6:10) It doesn't say "money" is a root of all kinds of evil, it says the "LOVE" of money is the problem. The bottom line is, when MONEY becomes my focus and becomes an idol to me (definition of “idol” is anything that you look to as a source other than God), then it takes the place of God in my life and then the “deceitfulness” of wealth will cause me to start making decisions based on money, either the abundance or the lack of, instead of what God is telling me.  Money can still be a problem to those who don't have it as well when all their attention and thoughts are consumed with the lack of it or how to get more. Again, the problem is where we position it in our lives. (“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 6:21)

At this point you’re probably wondering "so where's the upside down aspect of this??” Well, we were all raised in this "world" and, from what I read in the Bible, God's view of money and the world’s view of money are polar opposites, “upside down” from each other you might say. If you think about it, money plays a very large role in today's society.  We earn it, save it, invest it, raise it, spend it, give it, and steal it… It dictates what we do, where we go, what we have, where we live, who our friends are... Just to name a few of the ways money can consume us. So, it makes me wonder how much of the "worlds view" do we still retain once we are adopted into the Kingdom.

Ok, this is where it gets a little sticky. Am I saying that God is anti money or wealth?  No, I really don’t think He is but God would not have put this scripture in Matthew (and many others like it) if our focus on wealth was not a very likely problem or issue for us. Before I go any further I want to step back a minute and look at the word “deceitfulness” or deceit again. Here is a definition I pulled off the web: Concealment or distortion of the truth for the purpose of misleading.   What I get from this definition is that we can very easily be blinded and not see, or even be aware of, the “distortion” or “hold” that money can have on us.  Are we being mislead and deceived as to what importance money should have in our lives?  This reminds me of the scripture in Deuteronomy that tells us to "... love the LORD your God and serve Him with all your heart and with all your soul ... lest your heart be deceived, and you turn aside and serve other gods and worship them..." Deuteronomy 11:13-16 (NKJV).  Basically what He is saying here is, “keep your eyes and your love fixed on ME because Satan will do whatever he can to mislead, distract, distort and confuse you to get your focus off of ME and onto something else” (i.e. other god’s/idols) and to be honest here, “money” is a HUGE distraction for many.

I believe that God truly does want to bless His people and sometimes He uses money to do that but I think where we go wrong is when we think it is for us alone and we HOARD it for ourselves with the “we earned it, we deserve it, it is mine to keep!” mentality (James 5:1-6).  The more I get to know God the more I understand that He wants us to be “conduits” of His blessings to others, and not to keep it for ourselves.  He says to us in Matthew 10:8 “…Freely you have received, freely give.” The “temporal” blessings of the Lord should be freely given out because they were freely given to us and basically are not ours to begin with and will not go with us when we die.

Another aspect of wealth is the thought that, if we have enough saved for our future, we won’t need to rely on God any more.  Of course that is not a “conscious” thought for most of us but, if you really think about it, isn’t that what it boils down to?  We don’t want to have to trust God to provide for us in our every day life.  We don’t trust that He will give us what we “want”… so we take it upon ourselves to store away for the future… just in case God gets too busy or doesn’t provide when we need or want something. I think we should read Matthew 6:25-34 on a regular basis as a constant reminder of how God desires to provide for us.  Remember when the Israelites were in the desert and God provided manna for them every morning? He told them not to pick up anymore than what they could eat that day or it would rot and be covered in maggots (eeewww). He wanted them to learn to TRUST and rely upon Him to provide for them each day, one day at a time. “… give us this day our daily bread…” Not only that but their shoes and clothes did not wear out either during the entire 40 years they wandered in the desert!! I believe that He STILL wants to do these things for us and wants us to trust Him for our daily bread, our manna… not to store up for tomorrow, like the world does, but to rely on Him for all our needs every day… one day at a time.

When we store up for ourselves for the future and are not a conduit of His blessings, it corrupts and stagnates us and we stop relying on our heavenly Father and instead we start looking to “money” as our source. I heard someone refer to the Dead Sea in that regard.  There is no outlet (flow through) so all the fresh water that comes into it stagnates and becomes useless for anything to grow and flourish. I think it is the same way for God’s blessings in our life.  If there is no “outlet”, if we are not conduits of His blessings, then the blessings stagnate and we become useless, not growing in Him or blessing others and then we can become corrupted in the process. Kind of like the maggots in the manna.

Just so you don’t think I am making this stuff up, I have listed some scriptures on riches, wealth and treasures below so you can get a really good idea of how God feels about this:

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also… You cannot serve both God and Money.” Matthew 6:19-24

"But woe to you who are rich, for you have already received your comfort. Woe to you who are well fed now, for you will go hungry...” Luke 6:24-25

“Then he said to them, "Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions. And he told them this parable. “The ground of a certain rich man produced a good crop. He thought to himself, 'What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.' “Then he said, 'This is what I'll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. And I'll say to myself, "You have plenty of good things laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry." But God said to him, 'You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?' "This is how it will be with anyone who stores up things for himself but is not rich toward God." Luke 12:15-21

“Jesus answered, ‘If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.’ When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth. Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.’" Matthew 19:21-24

“He has brought down rulers from their thrones but has lifted up the humble. He has filled the hungry with good things but has sent the rich away empty.” Luke 1:52-53

“Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver… You will be made rich in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God.” 2 Corinthians 9:6-11

“But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment.” 1Timothy 6:6-17

And if you want even more, see also:

James 1:9-11

James 2:5-7

James 5:1-6

So, to wrap this up, I think we can safely say that the “deceitfulness” aspect of wealth is that we believe that these blessings are “ours” to keep, hoard and store up for ourselves so that we don’t need to look to God anymore.  This is “upside down” from what God desires for us. He asks us to look to HIM, and Him alone, for ALL of our needs to be met, and for us to be a “flow through” to the people around us so that He can be a blessing to others with the blessings He gives to us.

Father, I pray that You would give us all a revelation of the areas that money (or the love of it) may have gotten a hold of us and allowed the enemy to deceive us.  Please reveal the truth of the deception as well as the truth of Your desire to provide for us in all ways one day at a time.  Help us to trust You more and more for our daily provision and learn to look to You for all of our needs.  Please take the blinders and veils away from our eyes and help us to see clearly any deception Satan may have convinced us of, in Jesus name, amen.

“You say, 'I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked.” Revelations 3:15-18

The "POWER" of Prayer...

I am still on my quest for a deeper understanding of prayer.  I have felt for awhile that I am missing something important...  I am still not sure what it is but I feel like the Lord has been giving me little glimpses here and there as I continue to ask, seek and pursue Him regarding this.  I have come to a place in my walk where I truly believe that prayer is not so much for me to beseech Him with requests (but that is certainly a part of it) as it is for ME to spend more and more time with Him as my Father in heaven.  Time for me to get to know Him better and get a better understanding of who I am and who He designed and created me to be. But again, I keep getting this feeling that there is still so much MORE to prayer than what I am understanding now…

I felt like I got one of those little glimpses the other day when I was reading the True Vine and Andrew was talking about "saving" prayer and that the fruit of our abiding is having the heart for men and their salvation.  I started thinking about that a little more and felt like maybe this is a place where we can get a little stuck.  If I go out to "save" man kind based on the "Great Commission" then I am probably motivated by a "commandment", a "law", a "duty" and a sense that it is my “job” to do this saving work… (Stay with me here).  But I have come to believe that it is NOT my job to "save" mankind but that is solely the work and "job" of the Holy Spirit working through His body. My job is to do the first and greatest commandment, to Love God with all my heart, mind, body and strength, love my neighbor as myself, to ABIDE in Him and just be the branch and to "seek first His Kingdom" and I am certainly finding out what a full time job that is in and of itself!  

When I was meditating on this, I heard the Lord speak the word "Compassion" to me.  Then I thought of all the scriptures in the Gospels that say that Jesus had "compassion" on the people he healed and ministered to. Then I realized where I fall short… I can't give what I don't have!!  When I abide in Christ and I am the branch I am supposed to be, I am then filled with the sap that is needed to produce HIS fruit.  When I am abiding, the Holy Spirit fills me up with Christ and HIS love and compassion for the lost and then I am compelled to "go out" with an entirely different motivation!! I am compelled to LOVE them because I have Christ’s COMPASSION for them. This is not something I can manufacture on my own. I am then serving the lost as Christ served them and loving them as Christ loved them, which at that point comes as natural as breathing, and then the lost are drawn to the love of Christ through me.  

So, now I can come back to my original point.  When I have Christ’s love and compassion I believe that also changes my PRAYERS for the lost and the compassion infuses the prayers with power!  I am driven to my knees with the heart of Jesus and I pray and intercede for them with HIS love and compassion welling up and pouring forth from the depths of my heart.  I now have what I need to bear the fruit that Christ desires from me in prayer. Until I get THERE, I don’t think my prayers are nearly as fruitful and powerful as I would like them to be.

Just for emphasis, here are some scriptures I found regarding Jesus' compassion:

“And he passed in front of Moses, proclaiming, “The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin.” Exodus 34:6-7 

“When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.” Matthew 9:36

“When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick.” Matthew 14:14

“Jesus called his disciples to him and said, "I have compassion for these people; they have already been with me three days and have nothing to eat.” Matthew 15:32

“Jesus had compassion on them and touched their eyes. Immediately they received their sight and followed him.” Matthew 20:34

“Filled with compassion, Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man.”I am willing," he said. "Be clean!" Mark 1:41

“When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd. So he began teaching them many things.” Mark 6:34

“I have compassion for these people; they have already been with me three days and have nothing to eat.” Mark 8:2

“So he got up and went to his father.”But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.” Luke 15:20

“As you know, we consider blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job's perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.” James 5:11

And here are a couple verses that tell us to clothe ourselves with His compassion and to serve others with what we have been given!

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

“If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.” Philippians 2:1-2

“Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” Colossians 3:12

September 16th Oswald:

"... Prayer is not simply getting things from God… Prayer is coming into perfect fellowship and oneness with God. If the Son of God has been formed in us through regeneration (Galatians 4:19), then He will continue to press on beyond our common sense and will change our attitude about the things for which we pray..."

Father, I thank you so much for your Holy Spirit and the insight that He gives me into Your heart.  I pray Lord that I would have YOUR love and compassion for the lost and for those you place in my life.  Help me Lord, once again, to set aside my selfishness, laziness, pride and arrogance and embrace Your “compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” Fill me up with these things so that they spill out on to others and flow out as naturally as breathing.  In Jesus name I pray, Amen!

ABIDING in the Trinity

A friend of mine recently asked me what my thoughts were on the Trinity.  That was a good question, and one that I had not thought about in awhile!  I told her I needed some time to think about it because I wanted to gather my thoughts before sharing them.  My understanding of the Trinity has changed and grown through the years but it is still not to the point where I have a clear grasp of it.  I realize I will never be able to get it completely, but I still wanted to spend some time praying about it and meditating on it before I randomly blurted something out. 

A day or two later I was reading the True Vine devotional by Andrew Murray (The True Vine) the scripture verse listed was John 15:4 “Abide in me and I will abide in you”. The first paragraph of the devotional gave a really great visual of the vine and branch grafting which I have copied below for you:

When a new graft is placed in a vine and it abides there, there is a twofold process that takes place. The first is in the wood. The graft shoots its little roots and fibers down into the stem, and the stem grows up into the graft, and what has been called the structural union is effected. The graft abides and becomes one with the vine… Then there is the second process, in which the sap of the vine enters the new structure, and uses it as a passage through which sap can flow up to show itself in young shoots and leaves and fruit. Here is the vital union. Into the graft which abides in the stock, the stock enters with sap to abide in it.  

Being a “visual” person, I absolutely LOVE imagery like this!  And then he goes on to say:

“When our Lord says: ‘Abide in me, and I in you,’ He points to something analogous to this. ‘Abide in me’: that refers more to that which we have to do. We have to trust and obey, to detach ourselves from all else, to reach out after Him and cling to Him, to sink ourselves into Him… Many believers pray and long very earnestly for the filling of the Spirit and the indwelling of Christ, and wonder that they do not make more progress. The reason is often this, the ‘I in you’ cannot come because the ‘abide in me’ is not maintained… The graft must have grown into the stem, and be abiding in it before the sap can flow through to bring forth fruit. It is as in lowly obedience we follow Christ, even in external things, denying ourselves, forsaking the world, and even in the body seeking to be conformable to Him, as we thus seek to abide in Him, that we shall be able to receive and enjoy the ‘I in you.’ The work enjoined on us: ‘Abide in me,’ will prepare us for the work undertaken by Him: ‘I in you.’ …”

On a side note, after reading this, it was like a light bulb went on in my head when I read the second paragraph!  We wonder why the “Power” of the Holy Spirit is not displayed in our lives today like it was in the Biblical days?  Well, I think THIS is the answer!  We are not sinking into Christ to the point where He is sinking into us so the “sap” is not able to flow through us to produce the desired fruit!  We are not: “trust[ing] and obey[ing], detach[ing] ourselves from all else, to reach out after Him and cling[ing] to Him, ]or] sink[ing] ourselves into Him… denying ourselves,[and] forsaking the world…” which ultimately is the true sense and meaning of the word “ABIDE”.  Christ and the Holy Spirit can only work in and through us after we abide in HIM and then the power of the Holy Spirit will be able to flow through us!  As much as my heart LONGS to do this, I know I am still so far away from actually accomplishing it!  My flesh still rules my heart and life and I have not “detached” myself from all else…  Lord, help me get there!

Anyway, back at my original thought on the Trinity. I just happened to be walking with my friend that morning who had asked me about the Trinity and, as I was sharing this devotional with her, the Lord gave me another “visual” that helped me to see the Trinity in a new way. The "husbandman" is the Father; He works the vineyard and puts things into place. Christ is the True Vine that facilitates the bringing up of the branches and the bearing of the fruit and the Holy Spirit is the sap that flows through the Vine in order for the branches to produce the fruit!  When I got that visual, it reminded me of a trinity analogy I heard a couple of years ago; the Father is the designer and overseer of all things, Jesus is the facilitator who walks out the Father’s plans and the Holy Spirit is the Power that flows through Jesus to make it all happen.  They each have a part that they play and one can do nothing without the others.  They are dependent upon each other and they flow fluidly and effortlessly together in the work that they all 3 have determined to do.  Both of these ideas compliment each other and speak of basically the same thing and they help me understand the “Trinity” concept a little more.

After my walk with my friend, I came home and shared this thought and visual with Tom and he decided to look up on the computer the process of “grafting”.  Well, that took us even deeper and we walked away with three other aspects of “abiding” and “grafting” we had not thought about.  The first was that the Vine has to be "cut to the quick" or “wounded”, deep enough so that when the branch is grafted in, the “sap” can flow from the Vine into the new graft.  When we realized this, Isaiah 53:3 came to my mind, “But he was pierced for our transgressions…” Wow, that was an interesting thought and connection!  Second, it is necessary that WE, the “branch”, have to be cut and shaped as well in order to be able to be inserted and to abide in the Vine.  I am always hearing from the Lord that I need to be re-shaped and molded into the vessel that works best for HIS Kingdom and not mine… This is just another confirmation and a new way of seeing it. And third, in order for the new branch to stay, it has to be BOUND to the vine until the grafting is completed.  So, we need to allow God to "bind" us to Christ until we can get it on our own!!  That gives a whole new meaning to idea of becoming a “Bond-servant” of Christ! The visuals of “grafting” really helped to put this all together… and the Holy Spirit too, of course :)

So now how do I recap all of this?  I think the main point is our need to first abide and sink in to Christ so that Christ can then abide and sink into us. In order to do that, we need to focus on the key aspects of abiding which are to: “trust and obey, detach ourselves from all else, to reach out after Him and cling to Him, to sink ourselves into Him… denying ourselves, [and] forsaking the world…” Then, we need to allow Him to cut away the unnecessary parts of us so that we can sink in deep enough so that the SAP of the Holy Spirit can flow through us. And lastly, allow God to bind us to Him so that His Kingdom fruit is produced through us for His Glory!

As a closing thought, Tom brought up a really good scripture that also fits this analogy.  If you think about it, grafting is uniting two separate things and making them “one flesh”… “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery--but I am talking about Christ and the church.” (Ephesians 5:31-32)  Again, this is yet another example of how God uses His creation to show us that what happens in the natural also happens in the spirit!  Christ wants to become “one flesh” with us, His church, as we abide in Him!

Oh Father, help me to grasp these truths to the point of allowing You to do Your will in me.  Help me Lord to SINK into You so that You can sink into me so that we become “one”.  Help me to just be the “branch” and allow YOU to be the Vine and to surrender my all, giving up my dreams and my ideals of what I think you want from me, and just ABIDE in you.   Holy Spirit I long to have you flow freely through me so that Your fruit is produced and not mine, for Your Kingdom. Help me to get there Lord! In Jesus’ precious and Holy name, amen! 

Linda's Journal - July 25, 2011

As I was reading in the True Vine this morning Andrew’s prayer at the end was so applicable to the next step the Lord is speaking to me about.

“Lord Jesus, in the faith that Thou art my Vine, and that I am Thy branch, I accept Your command as a promise, and take Your “even as I” as the simple revelation of what You do work in me. Yes, Lord, as You have loved, I will love.”

On Saturday, when I met some ladies for lunch, I was sharing my recent revelations about my mom and how that has been changing my perspective and relationship with Tom.  They asked many questions about my childhood and relationship with my mom back then and then one friend asked me if I loved my mom…  Hmmm.  That was a question I had not ever really thought about.  My initial unspoken response was “no”, I don’t think I really ever did “love” my mom.  And then that thought triggered a similar revelation I had about 10 years ago that I didn’t think I ever loved Tom either.  Again, there is a connection between my mom and Tom.  With further processing I was thinking about why I didn’t love my mom and it is mostly because I don’t think I really ever “knew” her enough to “love” her. I had so many defenses up protecting my heart, from the negative, I also blocked out the good. And evidently, that transferred into my marriage as well.

I have continued my quest to discover the ways in which my mom loved me and I am beginning to see her with new eyes and a new heart.  I can see so many times when she attempted to do something for me which I rejected and I remember times also that my actions and defenses hurt her as it showed her where I was and my lack of love and understanding of her heart and desire to love me.  Because of that I think she put up defenses too… we both wanted the same thing but our defenses shielded and prevented the very things we desired from each other.

Lord, it is only by YOUR love can we truly be healed and then are able to love others with that love.  Help me Lord to truly embrace the love you have for me so that I can in turn love others with THAT love and not my own, selfish, twisted and ineffective love.  “…Yes, Lord, as You have loved, I will love.”

Linda's Journal - July 17, 2011

More revelations! 

I’m on a mission now—to remember my mom and my childhood through new eyes. I’m intentionally looking for the ways my mom may have loved me that I couldn’t recognize or receive as a child.

Last week, while driving, a memory surfaced. I started thinking about all the people my mom arranged to care for us while she worked and went to school. Over time, we would bond with some of those couples—and they with us. A few even wanted to adopt us. But eventually, Mom would move us again, placing us with another family.

As a child, I was angry about all the constant moving. I never felt settled, and just when I felt safe or attached, we’d be whisked away again. But in that moment last week, I had a new thought—maybe that was one of the ways she loved us.

How much easier it would have been for her, as a single mom, to just give up—to let someone else take over. But she didn’t. She fought to keep us. She worked hard, went to school, and held on to custody even when it would have been easier to let go. She didn’t give us away. That realization shook me. Her way of loving us may have looked different… but it was love.

Later, on Friday morning, Tom and I were talking and he asked if I had thought of more ways my mom might have loved me. I shared that realization with him. Then he said something that took my breath away:

“Considering how emotionally crippled your mom was… imagine if that emotional brokenness was visible in her physical body.”

And then, the Lord gave him a vivid mental image. Tom described how, if her emotional wounds were reflected physically, she would be so deformed—so twisted and broken—she wouldn’t be able to function like a normal person. And yet, we kept expecting her to!

I too was taken aback by the vision that came to my mind. I suddenly saw her physically twisted and deformed in a crumpled heap on the floor, unable to stand or do anything a normal person could do. Then I pictured her trying to hold me and nurture me from that position and failing miserably as I stood there, with my hands on my hips, demanding that she hug me like a normal person…  

The thought came to me that it would be like a child who was handicapped physically and emotionally and then expecting them to behave like a normal child and rejecting their efforts to show love.  

I was completely undone. She made so many efforts to do things for my sister and I but, because of her emotional condition, it didn’t look at all like a normal persons love… but she still tried… over and over again, to be the mom she so wanted to be!!  

I was overwhelmed with emotion as I saw my mom for the first time, making monumental efforts to love me, while I stood there expecting her to exhibit “normal” behaviors and missing what she WAS doing.  

So, as this vision was unfolding, I mentally got down on the floor and took her in my arms and finally received the love she had, in the way she could give it. It was the most heart wrenching and amazing feeling I have had in a long time. 

I spent the morning sobbing as the tables turned on me and I saw my own pride and selfishness in desiring to be loved a certain way and missing the love she was giving me.  

I was receiving the love and acceptance I had overlooked my whole life and it felt amazingly wonderful. Every time I think about it I get a fresh flow of tears falling down my cheeks because it is so wonderful and healing for me to finally receive my mom’s love after all these years.

Tom came up with a really good analogy as we sat and talked about this afterwards. He said, from my perspective, my mom was handing me foreign currency and I was looking at it like, what do you expect me to do with this?! I can’t use it or spend it here!  

And I realized that am doing the same thing with him when he loves me in “his” love languages and not mine. I finally discovered the “exchange” rate and was able to convert it for my mom and was able to use it the way it was originally intended. Now I need to do the same for Tom. I need to see the way “he” loves me and be able to convert it into my own love currency and receive it. I suppose that also can be applied to my relationship with the Lord too!

This has been a very emotional week.  God is showing me so many things! I feel like this was such a HUGE step for me in the right direction and I am looking forward to experiencing the continued emotional healing and freedom that will result from this. It has already made a difference in my relationship to Tom in how I am seeing and responding to him. I am not seeing or feeling things in the old way but am now discovering new thoughts and perspectives that I have missed all these years. 

Thank you Jesus for that amazing revelation and healing moment. Thank you for helping me to finally receive what my mom was so desperately trying to give but was unable to in the “normal” ways. I am receiving my mothers love in the way she was able to give it and I am so blessed.  

Lord, I know that was YOU because only You can make these sort of things happen. Now maybe I can see and feel YOU in new and wonderful ways too.  THAT is my hearts desire… to KNOW you deeper and better every day of my life.  In Jesus name, amen.