Dying to LIVE

In my last post, Death and Resurrection, I talked about “dying” to the flesh and trusting God to raise us up from the dead. The more I thought about that the more I wondered if I should give some examples of what that meant. It’s one thing to say it but, what does “dying” to my flesh and my will really look like in my day to day life? What does it mean to crucify myself so that “I no longer live but Christ lives in me…”? (Galatians 2:20) Then I thought of all the times that God has asked me to die to myself and do something that was completely “illogical” and/or very humbling and extremely difficult to do. So, I decided to write out some of my own "deaths" for you as examples of what God can and may ask you to do.

Let me clarify first that my journey is just that, “mine”. And your journey is yours. Just because God asks me to do something, it does not mean that I think He should or will ask you to do the same things. Everyone has different things they need to “die” to and even if we are dying to the same things, He asks us to go through a different process to make that death occur. I guess this is my little disclaimer. I am not saying that I think He is asking everyone to do the things He asks me to do, but more to the point, I am saying that He WILL ask you to do some really hard things and even some things that don’t make sense and that go against all your reason, logic and understanding. It may look similar to mine or completely different but the end result should be the same… death to the flesh, which will then result in spiritual resurrection and freedom!

So, before I share my stuff, I thought I would list some Biblical examples of people that had to die to their flesh and principles in order to be obedient to God. Here is one of my favorites and a familiar one right off the bat: “Then God said, "Take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love, and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains I will tell you about." (Genesis 22:2). I have brought this story up a few times already but it still never ceases to amaze me that, first of all, God would ask this of Abraham and second, that Abraham was obedient and set out to do it!! Talk about dying to his flesh and principles! This one takes the cake!! What are some of the other things Abraham had to die to? He had to die to God’s promise of a nation from his off spring. He had to die to the humiliation of what his wife and family would say. And he had do die to what ISAAC would say as he bound him up and laid him on the alter… just to name a few! Those are some very intense deaths.

Another example is Hosea: “…the LORD said to him, "Go, take to yourself an adulterous wife and children of unfaithfulness…." (Hosea 1:2) Really! Would God ask you to take an adulterous wife?? I guess the answer would be “yes” for Hosea. Again, this doesn’t apply to everyone, but God had a purpose and a plan for Hosea and this was something Hosea needed to do for God’s plan and purposes to be realized in his life. What are some of the things Hosea had to die to? He had to die to his “right” to marry a good and faithful wife. He had to die to his reputation and of what others will think of him. And, he had to die to any judgment and/or disgust he probably had of an adulteress women so that he could love her like God loved the Israelites. 

Another example is Gideon: ”The LORD said to Gideon, "You have too many men for me to deliver Midian into their hands…” Gideon started off with 32,000 men but then God took him through a process of elimination… “So Gideon sent the rest of the Israelites to their tents but kept the three hundred… During that night the LORD said to Gideon, "Get up, go down against the camp, because I am going to give it into your hands.” (Judges 7:1-9) The Lord asked Gideon to step up and fight against the Midianites, who were too numerous to count (Judges 6:5), with only 300 men!! This is another request which defies all logic and understanding! But Gideon was obedient and GOD WAS FAITHFUL AND TRUE to His word! Gideon had to die to his fear of failure! He had to put out a couple fleeces before he really believed God would do what he said he would do. Even still, it took a HUGE amount of faith and courage to go out against the Midianite army with only 300 men!

Ok, I have one last example; let’s look at Peter who was praying on a roof top: “Then a voice told him, "Get up, Peter. Kill and eat. Surely not, Lord! Peter replied. "I have never eaten anything impure or unclean." (Acts 10:13-14) Most of us are familiar with this story. Peter was shown a vision of a sheet coming down from heaven containing all kinds of “unclean” animals that Peter had never eaten in his life and God told him to “kill and eat”. He had been taught from a young boy not to do such things. He was also taught that the promises of God were only for the Jews and not for the Gentiles. These were foundational beliefs for the Jews! Poor Peter had quite a wake up call that day when God changed up on him and gave him different orders and instructions and asked him to do things that were completely against everything he been taught! Peter had to die to his ways of life, heritage and “traditions” he had been taught his whole life. That would be for us like saying cats and dogs are to vote for the president! Try to wrap your mind around that!

There are so many more of these types of stories and examples in the Bible. It is easy for us to look at these stories so nonchalantly and say, these people were different, chosen and special people and think that it was somehow easier for them. And because we know how it ends, we don’t think of these “extremely traumatic” situations as being that big of a deal… at least that’s what I thought until God started asking ME to do some of these REALLY hard things, then suddenly, I saw these people in a VERY different light. They went from being black and white words on a page to living, breathing people with struggles and feelings just like me. It’s easy to have “faith” when you know how it will all end… but when you have NO CLUE what God is doing, which none of these people did when they started off, and you step out anyway, “faith” takes on a whole new look and feel. These people had to “die” to their flesh, their reason, their logic, their understanding, common sense and even to their “reputation” to follow God and be obedient to what He asked them to do. I don’t think He works any differently with us today yet we somehow have gotten this notion that God wants things to be “easy” and “painless” for us…? God is the same yesterday, today and forever and I do believe that “death” to our flesh looks and feels the same today as it did back then.

The good news is, that each and every one of those people, and each one of us who trusts God, dies to our flesh, steps out in faith and are obedient, are spiritually resurrected and are able to “see” God in a whole new way. Just like Job who said “My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you.” (Job 42:5). It’s like you walk through a spiritual door that you never knew was there and see things with new eyes and a new understanding. Each time we die to our flesh, step out in faith and are obedient to what God is calling us to do, we get a new glimpse of His wonderful face and Glory :) It’s NOT about US but all about God and HIS faithfulness to His people, for His Kingdom and His Glory!

Well, I wrote much more than I thought I would for this “intro” so now I will need to do a part 2 in order to write the examples from my life of the things the Lord has called me to die to.

Father, I ask that even now you are quickening the hearts of the readers to understand more about what “dying to live” really means and to risk the pain, struggles and difficulties that come with death and transformation so that they can “see” You clearer and “know” You better. You are worth more than anything we could have or go through here on earth because You and Your purposes for us are “eternal”.

“We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.” Romans 6:4

(See also Oswald’s January 15^th devotional: http://utmost.org/)

Linda's Journal - January 10, 2012

Praise the Lord for His goodness and grace! This last week has been very intense and very full so this has been my first chance to sit and write out the good news of Charlee-Nichole’s birth! She was born last Tuesday on Mako’s birthday, Jan 3^rd at 3:14am. She weighed in at 8lbs 11oz, 21 1/2 inches long and she is beautiful! Mako has been such a wonderful big brother, very gentle and kind. It is very cool to see how the kids are accepting and loving their new sister.

The morning of her birth I woke up with another red eye. It was very bad. Apparently the pressure in my eye was too much again so the blood vessels burst. I hadn’t been feeling all that well and had a bit of a cough. The week was a little more stressful than usual and Rob was doing a great job keeping us posted on the birth progress via texting so I didn’t get much sleep that night. So, all of that resulted in too much pressure and a red eye. It is much better now though :) Angel was so sweet about it. I went over there Wednesday night to help Amada with the kids and when I tucked Angel in we prayed and then she prayed for my eye. When I saw her on Sunday and my eye was better she said, “Oma, I know why your eye is better”, I said Oh yeah, why is that, and she said “because I prayed for you!” That was so awesome :)

Another thing that has been going on is that Tom’s friend Bill B. sent him an ebook called “Awareness” by Anthony De Mello. It has been a HUGE eye opener for both Tom and I!! We love it because he has so many amazing truths in it that are mind boggling and foundation rocking. He talks a lot about brainwashing and lies we have believed as a society and body of Christ and how that keeps us from true awareness. He starts off the book by saying “WAKE UP!!” We have been asleep for so long we don’t even realize that we are asleep! He talks about being aware of our thoughts and feelings and identifying what they are and why they are there. One of the big things I have gotten out of it so far is that, if we are angry and upset with someone, it isn’t the person we are upset with, but our ILLUSIONS of who that person is that upset us. If we really and truly KNEW that person then we would know not to expect them to be and do certain things and we would not be upset or disappointed! It’s our incorrect illusions and expectations that are wrong which then results in disappointment and anger. I love it!! He absolutely nails it! So, I had to immediately look at my frustrations and disappointments in Tom and realize that it isn’t HIM but my ILLUSION of who he is. My desire for him to be different keeps causing my problems. When I get a grip and understand who he really is, then those negative thoughts and feelings will go away!

The Lord is also applying these things to Adam and Candis. I keep finding myself being disappointed in their choices but now I realize that I need to readjust MY thoughts and expectations, see them for who they are (and they are not BAD at all, just different from my expectations) so that I am not disappointed and frustrated with them. I keep falling into the same old trap of wanting others to change so that I don’t feel bad but it isn’t THEM that need to change, it’s ME!! And to take that even further, I need to evaluate the things that make me “happy” as well! “Why” do they make me happy? If they are removed or different, will that make me sad or mad? What have I attached to that causes these emotions?? Very deep stuff!

Oh Lord, I am so thankful for your grace and patience with me! Thank you for this new book and the insights it is giving me! Help me to continue to “see” and “apply” these truths to my life. I feel like the more You show me, the freer I become! The more freedom I feel, the more freedom I desire… bring it on Lord! I love You so much and desire to know You more and more each day. With all my heart and life, Linda :)

Linda's Journal - January 1, 2012

Happy New Year!! I am really looking forward to seeing what God will do in this next year! We will have a new baby and I pray that our family will be restored.

2011 ended with a bit of sadness but with a greater understanding of my Lord and the way He works things. I have learned so much in the last couple years about who He is and His heart for me and others that I want so badly to tell the world how good and awesome He is!! I am a “fixer” by nature and I love to see things restored and help people in their lives and help them to “see” Jesus the way I see Him. I have been writing in my blog this last year, trying to articulate the things that the Lord has shown me. I write and rewrite, try and try again to somehow impart to others the things I have learned, seen and grown to understand but, somehow when I am done, it doesn’t even come close to what I really want to say. It’s almost like it needs another language… the language of the heart maybe, to be able to communicate the truths that the Lord has revealed to me. Well, to be straight up, that is it in the nutshell, isn’t it? Only God, through the Holy Spirit can really and truly reveal these truths to each individual. I have tried to express and explain in so many ways, so many times but walk away feeling discouraged because I can’t seem to express the things of my heart the way I truly feel and see them.

The last blog I posted, Death and Resurrection, I wrote in November and, again, when I was done I wasn’t happy with it so I sat on it for a while. Every once in awhile I would pull it up again and reread it to see if there was anything I could change, correct or fix. I made a change here and there but the content was pretty much the same… lacking “impact” and “insight” that I was really hoping for. So, I decided to post it at the end of December just to get it in before the New Year.

The last couple of guests that the Lord has brought to the Inn have helped me to see some things even clearer. We had a pastor and his wife stay with us again and my expectations of pastors are that they would have a heart for the Lord at least as great as mine… I am sure there are some out there but these have been disappointing. I am not saying that they aren’t wonderful people but, again, they talked of everything else BUT the Lord and His impact in their lives. That is ALL I want to talk about!! I wanted so much to talk about the Lord and what He is revealing to me and showing me but each time I tried to go down that road, they would change the subject to something else.

Then, we had these wonderful and so sweet ladies stay with us Friday night. They shared with me that they met each other at church and they even prayed over their meal before they eat it, but again, NOTHING was mentioned about My Lord or His impact and place in their lives. I sat in the kitchen eating my breakfast while listening to their conversation and it centered mostly around illness, either theirs or someone else’s, but illnesses none the less. As I sat and listened and prayed, the thought hit me… it was all about the “physical” yet again! All about the “temporal” and nothing about the spiritual!! I started thinking about how when we are young, we are caught up in the “material” things of life. Working hard to make the wages that will give us the toys, prestige, and accolades we want. Or, the physical pleasures… sex, drugs, alcohol, adrenaline experiences like bungee jumping or sky diving. We are so focused on us, the physical pleasures and the temporal things of life at that time in our lives. 

Then I thought, certainly as we get older and more mature as Christians, wouldn’t we want to set all that stuff aside, seeing the futility of it all and focus on the spiritual and eternal aspect of life…? But NO! Instead, we are still all consumed with the physical yet again only this time it is in the “aliment” and illness department instead of the “pleasure” department… Lord, help us! I can understand how the aches and pains of the physical can be a pain and a distraction, and how it isn’t like it used to be but I certainly do NOT want to spend all my time talking about it!

So, as I was sitting there at breakfast, thinking and praying and coming to these realizations, I had a very deep sadness, for us as the body and for the Lord. We really don’t get it do we. And “I” can’t impart these things to others. “I” can’t “make” them want to spend time with Him, talk about Him or inspire a desire for Him in their lives, only HE can. Unless the Father draws them, or reveals Himself to them, they cannot truly see Him. So, I have been more quiet and more introspective and more prayerful these last couple of weeks and the Lord is helping me to see, yet again, that it isn’t all about ME but all about HIM and His plans and purposes, because they are perfect and good. All I need to do is ABIDE in Him and be the branch that produces the fruit that brings HIM the glory, honor and praise.

Thank you Lord for setting me straight, yet again, on who is in control. I thank You that Your plans are perfect and good and that You love these people more than I do and everything will all work out for the BEST (not the good) and for YOUR Glory, honor and praise and not mine. Thank you for helping me to “die” in this area of my life so that you can resurrect me to be greater than I was but for YOUR glory and not mine. Your loving and devoted servant, Linda :)

Death and RESURRECTION

As per usual, I read the True Vine devotional this morning and below is an excerpt from what I read (here is the whole thing if you are interested: http://www.spiritoffire.org/ebooks/the%20true%20vine/vine05.htm

Excerpt from the True Vine devotional – John 15:1:

“…Christ ever lived in the spirit of what He once said: “The Son can do nothing of himself.” As dependent as a vine is on a husbandman for the place where it is to grow, for its fencing in and watering and pruning, Christ felt Himself entirely dependent on the Father every day for the wisdom and the strength to do the Father’s will. As He said in the previous chapter John 14:10: “The words that I say unto you, I speak not from Myself; but the Father abiding in Me doeth his works.” This absolute dependence had as its blessed counterpart the most blessed confidence that He had nothing to fear: the Father could not disappoint Him. With such a Husbandman as His Father, He could enter death and the grave. He could trust God to raise Him up. All that Christ is and has, He has, not in Himself, but from the Father…”

I have read this many times but this time something stuck out to me more than before. It was the line that said “He could trust God to raise Him up [from death and the grave].” He had nothing to FEAR… He could trust God to raise Him from the dead!!

I have a tendency to think of Jesus as more “God” than “man” and that all He did and said came easily to Him… But this morning I was reminded that He was 100% human as well as God.  He struggled with the same things and in the same ways WE do.  When I read this particular line this morning, “He could trust God to raise Him up.”, it not only reminded me of His humanness but it also reminded me of Abraham in that he also believed God could and would raise Isaac from the dead once he sacrificed him. But, instead of putting someone else to death, Jesus allowed Himself to be put to death and believe that God would raise Him from the dead! Wow. How incredibly hard was that?! I am sure His relationship, faith and belief in God made it somewhat easier, but again; I believe he had to battle His human side of things as well. He had to counter the lies that God couldn’t, wouldn’t and didn’t really ask Him to do that. He had to avoid reasoning His way out of it thinking things like “My loving Father would never ask me to do something like that!”  He had to counter the temptation to do what His disciples wanted Him to do, i.e. raise up an army and become the ruler and King in Jerusalem here on earth. He had to counter the enemy and the temptation to demand that “this cup be taken away …” and instead submit Himself to: “may your will be done." (Matthew 26:42)

But He was able to do this because why? Because, EVEN AS A HUMAN, He was absolutely and completely dependant upon His Father in Heaven and He had NO FEAR or doubt that God’s GOOD and PERFECT Will would be done in, and through Him.  He didn’t question the Fathers will, goodness or desire but TRUSTED Him completely. He knew that His flesh HAD to die in order for the Spirit to live, and live not only in Him but in us as well (“Unless I go away, the Counselor will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you.” John 16:7).  Jesus is our example of how WE need to live here on earth. Am I absolutely and completely dependant on God like Jesus was? Do I have the love, faith, and trust in God that Jesus did to be put to death...? And, am I as obedient?

 “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” Luke 9:23. In order for me to follow Jesus, I have to daily deny myself and crucify my flesh on the cross. Ok, to be honest, I have heard this for most of my Christian walk but the part that I missed before this morning was that, when I do actually manage to die to my flesh, I need to TRUST that the Father will RAISE ME FROM THE DEAD! Not in the physical form but in the spiritual. Not only that but that He will raise me to be better than I was… that His plans for me are for GOOD and not for HARM and that I will actually LIKE what He does with me.  Isn’t that where the difficulty lies? Do I trust that God will raise me from the dead, and when He does, will I like what He does with me?? Look what He did for Jesus! He surrendered His life to God and God raised Him from the dead, transformed him and sat Him on His right side, ruling along side of Him from the Throne of Heaven. Oh man! Just think of what He would have missed out on if He had catered to and given in to His “flesh” the “disciples” and the “enemy”! So, do I expect great things like that from God for me? The least I can do is expect that He can do greater and better things than I can!!  How many times have I missed out on the “best” that God has for me by allowing my flesh to lead my actions? Is my will and my way better than the creator of all the heavens and the earth? Can I put MY flesh to death daily and trust that, when I do, He will raise me up to be better than I was? Oh Lord, help me to get there!!

This makes me think of the caterpillar that goes into its cocoon willingly, surrendering its life and its transformation to God, and then immerging as a beautiful butterfly in flight! He was designed and created by God to do that but I think God uses His creation so we can see what He plans for us as well. Do we really want to stay as caterpillars when we can be transformed into butterflies?  This of course does not happen without a cost, the death of MY will and MY desires, but is the cost worth the results?

So, going back to the True Vine devotional analogy and summarizing, Jesus is the True Vine, completely submitting to the Father, relying completely upon Him for EVERYTHING. Having absolute trust and no fear that the Father would take care of Him and do what was needed for the Vines health and growth.  And, if we are to be the branches, grafted into the True Vine to become one with the Vine, can we be a different plant, producing our own fruit? I think we keep trying to do that and then we wonder why it isn't working!  Jesus is our example of becoming “entirely dependent” upon the Father for guidance, wisdom and strength to do His Fathers will everyday. We need to die to what we were before and trust that we will be raised from the dead and transformed into the butterflies and servants that He needs us to be to for HIS glory and HIS Kingdom purposes. But the first and most important question that we need to ask ourselves is, “do I trust that He will raise me from the dead…?”   

Oh Father, I look forward to the day when I can say “YES” without hesitation to that question. Only You know my heart both it’s corrupted side and it’s desires to do good and only You can help me to climb up on the sacrificial table each day and surrender my life and my will to You for Your purposes. Help me to TRUST You and Your goodness and help me to see that Your purposes are better than mine. Father, I DO believe you can raise me from the dead… but please, help me in my unbelief!

The "POWER" of Prayer...

I am still on my quest for a deeper understanding of prayer.  I have felt for awhile that I am missing something important...  I am still not sure what it is but I feel like the Lord has been giving me little glimpses here and there as I continue to ask, seek and pursue Him regarding this.  I have come to a place in my walk where I truly believe that prayer is not so much for me to beseech Him with requests (but that is certainly a part of it) as it is for ME to spend more and more time with Him as my Father in heaven.  Time for me to get to know Him better and get a better understanding of who I am and who He designed and created me to be. But again, I keep getting this feeling that there is still so much MORE to prayer than what I am understanding now…

I felt like I got one of those little glimpses the other day when I was reading the True Vine and Andrew was talking about "saving" prayer and that the fruit of our abiding is having the heart for men and their salvation.  I started thinking about that a little more and felt like maybe this is a place where we can get a little stuck.  If I go out to "save" man kind based on the "Great Commission" then I am probably motivated by a "commandment", a "law", a "duty" and a sense that it is my “job” to do this saving work… (Stay with me here).  But I have come to believe that it is NOT my job to "save" mankind but that is solely the work and "job" of the Holy Spirit working through His body. My job is to do the first and greatest commandment, to Love God with all my heart, mind, body and strength, love my neighbor as myself, to ABIDE in Him and just be the branch and to "seek first His Kingdom" and I am certainly finding out what a full time job that is in and of itself!  

When I was meditating on this, I heard the Lord speak the word "Compassion" to me.  Then I thought of all the scriptures in the Gospels that say that Jesus had "compassion" on the people he healed and ministered to. Then I realized where I fall short… I can't give what I don't have!!  When I abide in Christ and I am the branch I am supposed to be, I am then filled with the sap that is needed to produce HIS fruit.  When I am abiding, the Holy Spirit fills me up with Christ and HIS love and compassion for the lost and then I am compelled to "go out" with an entirely different motivation!! I am compelled to LOVE them because I have Christ’s COMPASSION for them. This is not something I can manufacture on my own. I am then serving the lost as Christ served them and loving them as Christ loved them, which at that point comes as natural as breathing, and then the lost are drawn to the love of Christ through me.  

So, now I can come back to my original point.  When I have Christ’s love and compassion I believe that also changes my PRAYERS for the lost and the compassion infuses the prayers with power!  I am driven to my knees with the heart of Jesus and I pray and intercede for them with HIS love and compassion welling up and pouring forth from the depths of my heart.  I now have what I need to bear the fruit that Christ desires from me in prayer. Until I get THERE, I don’t think my prayers are nearly as fruitful and powerful as I would like them to be.

Just for emphasis, here are some scriptures I found regarding Jesus' compassion:

“And he passed in front of Moses, proclaiming, “The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin.” Exodus 34:6-7 

“When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.” Matthew 9:36

“When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick.” Matthew 14:14

“Jesus called his disciples to him and said, "I have compassion for these people; they have already been with me three days and have nothing to eat.” Matthew 15:32

“Jesus had compassion on them and touched their eyes. Immediately they received their sight and followed him.” Matthew 20:34

“Filled with compassion, Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man.”I am willing," he said. "Be clean!" Mark 1:41

“When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd. So he began teaching them many things.” Mark 6:34

“I have compassion for these people; they have already been with me three days and have nothing to eat.” Mark 8:2

“So he got up and went to his father.”But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.” Luke 15:20

“As you know, we consider blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job's perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.” James 5:11

And here are a couple verses that tell us to clothe ourselves with His compassion and to serve others with what we have been given!

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

“If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.” Philippians 2:1-2

“Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” Colossians 3:12

September 16th Oswald:

"... Prayer is not simply getting things from God… Prayer is coming into perfect fellowship and oneness with God. If the Son of God has been formed in us through regeneration (Galatians 4:19), then He will continue to press on beyond our common sense and will change our attitude about the things for which we pray..."

Father, I thank you so much for your Holy Spirit and the insight that He gives me into Your heart.  I pray Lord that I would have YOUR love and compassion for the lost and for those you place in my life.  Help me Lord, once again, to set aside my selfishness, laziness, pride and arrogance and embrace Your “compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” Fill me up with these things so that they spill out on to others and flow out as naturally as breathing.  In Jesus name I pray, Amen!

ABIDING in the Trinity

A friend of mine recently asked me what my thoughts were on the Trinity.  That was a good question, and one that I had not thought about in awhile!  I told her I needed some time to think about it because I wanted to gather my thoughts before sharing them.  My understanding of the Trinity has changed and grown through the years but it is still not to the point where I have a clear grasp of it.  I realize I will never be able to get it completely, but I still wanted to spend some time praying about it and meditating on it before I randomly blurted something out. 

A day or two later I was reading the True Vine devotional by Andrew Murray (The True Vine) the scripture verse listed was John 15:4 “Abide in me and I will abide in you”. The first paragraph of the devotional gave a really great visual of the vine and branch grafting which I have copied below for you:

When a new graft is placed in a vine and it abides there, there is a twofold process that takes place. The first is in the wood. The graft shoots its little roots and fibers down into the stem, and the stem grows up into the graft, and what has been called the structural union is effected. The graft abides and becomes one with the vine… Then there is the second process, in which the sap of the vine enters the new structure, and uses it as a passage through which sap can flow up to show itself in young shoots and leaves and fruit. Here is the vital union. Into the graft which abides in the stock, the stock enters with sap to abide in it.  

Being a “visual” person, I absolutely LOVE imagery like this!  And then he goes on to say:

“When our Lord says: ‘Abide in me, and I in you,’ He points to something analogous to this. ‘Abide in me’: that refers more to that which we have to do. We have to trust and obey, to detach ourselves from all else, to reach out after Him and cling to Him, to sink ourselves into Him… Many believers pray and long very earnestly for the filling of the Spirit and the indwelling of Christ, and wonder that they do not make more progress. The reason is often this, the ‘I in you’ cannot come because the ‘abide in me’ is not maintained… The graft must have grown into the stem, and be abiding in it before the sap can flow through to bring forth fruit. It is as in lowly obedience we follow Christ, even in external things, denying ourselves, forsaking the world, and even in the body seeking to be conformable to Him, as we thus seek to abide in Him, that we shall be able to receive and enjoy the ‘I in you.’ The work enjoined on us: ‘Abide in me,’ will prepare us for the work undertaken by Him: ‘I in you.’ …”

On a side note, after reading this, it was like a light bulb went on in my head when I read the second paragraph!  We wonder why the “Power” of the Holy Spirit is not displayed in our lives today like it was in the Biblical days?  Well, I think THIS is the answer!  We are not sinking into Christ to the point where He is sinking into us so the “sap” is not able to flow through us to produce the desired fruit!  We are not: “trust[ing] and obey[ing], detach[ing] ourselves from all else, to reach out after Him and cling[ing] to Him, ]or] sink[ing] ourselves into Him… denying ourselves,[and] forsaking the world…” which ultimately is the true sense and meaning of the word “ABIDE”.  Christ and the Holy Spirit can only work in and through us after we abide in HIM and then the power of the Holy Spirit will be able to flow through us!  As much as my heart LONGS to do this, I know I am still so far away from actually accomplishing it!  My flesh still rules my heart and life and I have not “detached” myself from all else…  Lord, help me get there!

Anyway, back at my original thought on the Trinity. I just happened to be walking with my friend that morning who had asked me about the Trinity and, as I was sharing this devotional with her, the Lord gave me another “visual” that helped me to see the Trinity in a new way. The "husbandman" is the Father; He works the vineyard and puts things into place. Christ is the True Vine that facilitates the bringing up of the branches and the bearing of the fruit and the Holy Spirit is the sap that flows through the Vine in order for the branches to produce the fruit!  When I got that visual, it reminded me of a trinity analogy I heard a couple of years ago; the Father is the designer and overseer of all things, Jesus is the facilitator who walks out the Father’s plans and the Holy Spirit is the Power that flows through Jesus to make it all happen.  They each have a part that they play and one can do nothing without the others.  They are dependent upon each other and they flow fluidly and effortlessly together in the work that they all 3 have determined to do.  Both of these ideas compliment each other and speak of basically the same thing and they help me understand the “Trinity” concept a little more.

After my walk with my friend, I came home and shared this thought and visual with Tom and he decided to look up on the computer the process of “grafting”.  Well, that took us even deeper and we walked away with three other aspects of “abiding” and “grafting” we had not thought about.  The first was that the Vine has to be "cut to the quick" or “wounded”, deep enough so that when the branch is grafted in, the “sap” can flow from the Vine into the new graft.  When we realized this, Isaiah 53:3 came to my mind, “But he was pierced for our transgressions…” Wow, that was an interesting thought and connection!  Second, it is necessary that WE, the “branch”, have to be cut and shaped as well in order to be able to be inserted and to abide in the Vine.  I am always hearing from the Lord that I need to be re-shaped and molded into the vessel that works best for HIS Kingdom and not mine… This is just another confirmation and a new way of seeing it. And third, in order for the new branch to stay, it has to be BOUND to the vine until the grafting is completed.  So, we need to allow God to "bind" us to Christ until we can get it on our own!!  That gives a whole new meaning to idea of becoming a “Bond-servant” of Christ! The visuals of “grafting” really helped to put this all together… and the Holy Spirit too, of course :)

So now how do I recap all of this?  I think the main point is our need to first abide and sink in to Christ so that Christ can then abide and sink into us. In order to do that, we need to focus on the key aspects of abiding which are to: “trust and obey, detach ourselves from all else, to reach out after Him and cling to Him, to sink ourselves into Him… denying ourselves, [and] forsaking the world…” Then, we need to allow Him to cut away the unnecessary parts of us so that we can sink in deep enough so that the SAP of the Holy Spirit can flow through us. And lastly, allow God to bind us to Him so that His Kingdom fruit is produced through us for His Glory!

As a closing thought, Tom brought up a really good scripture that also fits this analogy.  If you think about it, grafting is uniting two separate things and making them “one flesh”… “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery--but I am talking about Christ and the church.” (Ephesians 5:31-32)  Again, this is yet another example of how God uses His creation to show us that what happens in the natural also happens in the spirit!  Christ wants to become “one flesh” with us, His church, as we abide in Him!

Oh Father, help me to grasp these truths to the point of allowing You to do Your will in me.  Help me Lord to SINK into You so that You can sink into me so that we become “one”.  Help me to just be the “branch” and allow YOU to be the Vine and to surrender my all, giving up my dreams and my ideals of what I think you want from me, and just ABIDE in you.   Holy Spirit I long to have you flow freely through me so that Your fruit is produced and not mine, for Your Kingdom. Help me to get there Lord! In Jesus’ precious and Holy name, amen! 

Linda's Journal - July 25, 2011

As I was reading in the True Vine this morning Andrew’s prayer at the end was so applicable to the next step the Lord is speaking to me about.

“Lord Jesus, in the faith that Thou art my Vine, and that I am Thy branch, I accept Your command as a promise, and take Your “even as I” as the simple revelation of what You do work in me. Yes, Lord, as You have loved, I will love.”

On Saturday, when I met some ladies for lunch, I was sharing my recent revelations about my mom and how that has been changing my perspective and relationship with Tom.  They asked many questions about my childhood and relationship with my mom back then and then one friend asked me if I loved my mom…  Hmmm.  That was a question I had not ever really thought about.  My initial unspoken response was “no”, I don’t think I really ever did “love” my mom.  And then that thought triggered a similar revelation I had about 10 years ago that I didn’t think I ever loved Tom either.  Again, there is a connection between my mom and Tom.  With further processing I was thinking about why I didn’t love my mom and it is mostly because I don’t think I really ever “knew” her enough to “love” her. I had so many defenses up protecting my heart, from the negative, I also blocked out the good. And evidently, that transferred into my marriage as well.

I have continued my quest to discover the ways in which my mom loved me and I am beginning to see her with new eyes and a new heart.  I can see so many times when she attempted to do something for me which I rejected and I remember times also that my actions and defenses hurt her as it showed her where I was and my lack of love and understanding of her heart and desire to love me.  Because of that I think she put up defenses too… we both wanted the same thing but our defenses shielded and prevented the very things we desired from each other.

Lord, it is only by YOUR love can we truly be healed and then are able to love others with that love.  Help me Lord to truly embrace the love you have for me so that I can in turn love others with THAT love and not my own, selfish, twisted and ineffective love.  “…Yes, Lord, as You have loved, I will love.”