Praise the Lord for His goodness and grace! This last week has been very intense and very full so this has been my first chance to sit and write out the good news of Charlee-Nichole’s birth! She was born last Tuesday on Mako’s birthday, Jan 3rd at 3:14am. She weighed in at 8lbs 11oz, 21 1/2 inches long and she is beautiful! Mako has been such a wonderful big brother, very gentle and kind. It is very cool to see how the kids are accepting and loving their new sister.
The morning of her birth I woke up with another red eye. It was very bad. Apparently the pressure in my eye was too much again so the blood vessels burst. I hadn’t been feeling all that well and had a bit of a cough. The week was a little more stressful than usual and Rob was doing a great job keeping us posted on the birth progress via texting so I didn’t get much sleep that night. So, all of that resulted in too much pressure and a red eye. It is much better now though :) Angel was so sweet about it. I went over there Wednesday night to help Amada with the kids and when I tucked Angel in we prayed and then she prayed for my eye. When I saw her on Sunday and my eye was better she said, “Oma, I know why your eye is better”, I said Oh yeah, why is that, and she said “because I prayed for you!” That was so awesome :)
Another thing that has been going on is that Tom’s friend Bill B. sent him an ebook called “Awareness” by Anthony De Mello. It has been a HUGE eye opener for both Tom and I!! We love it because he has so many amazing truths in it that are mind boggling and foundation rocking. He talks a lot about brainwashing and lies we have believed as a society and body of Christ and how that keeps us from true awareness. He starts off the book by saying “WAKE UP!!” We have been asleep for so long we don’t even realize that we are asleep! He talks about being aware of our thoughts and feelings and identifying what they are and why they are there. One of the big things I have gotten out of it so far is that, if we are angry and upset with someone, it isn’t the person we are upset with, but our ILLUSIONS of who that person is that upset us. If we really and truly KNEW that person then we would know not to expect them to be and do certain things and we would not be upset or disappointed! It’s our incorrect illusions and expectations that are wrong which then results in disappointment and anger. I love it!! He absolutely nails it! So, I had to immediately look at my frustrations and disappointments in Tom and realize that it isn’t HIM but my ILLUSION of who he is. My desire for him to be different keeps causing my problems. When I get a grip and understand who he really is, then those negative thoughts and feelings will go away!
The Lord is also applying these things to Adam and Candis. I keep finding myself being disappointed in their choices but now I realize that I need to readjust MY thoughts and expectations, see them for who they are (and they are not BAD at all, just different from my expectations) so that I am not disappointed and frustrated with them. I keep falling into the same old trap of wanting others to change so that I don’t feel bad but it isn’t THEM that need to change, it’s ME!! And to take that even further, I need to evaluate the things that make me “happy” as well! “Why” do they make me happy? If they are removed or different, will that make me sad or mad? What have I attached to that causes these emotions?? Very deep stuff!
Oh Lord, I am so thankful for your grace and patience with me! Thank you for this new book and the insights it is giving me! Help me to continue to “see” and “apply” these truths to my life. I feel like the more You show me, the freer I become! The more freedom I feel, the more freedom I desire… bring it on Lord! I love You so much and desire to know You more and more each day. With all my heart and life, Linda :)
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