"Treat them like a pagan or tax collector..."

"...If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.” Matthew 18:15-17

Recently a friend and I were talking and she had a question about how to handle a difficult situation with someone else she knew. She brought up this  scripture and asked/wondered if it was applicable; “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.' If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.” Matthew 18:15-17 

My initial response to my friend was, NO, that isn’t the way to handle it, and then asked, who said that verse anyway? It just didn’t seem “Jesus” like to disassociate with them… So, after she left I asked Tom who said that scripture and he said “Jesus did!” I was like… No way, really?! (You would think I would have known that considering how many times I have listened to the Gospels!! DOH!). But then something very interesting happened.

I went to that verse and read the whole chapter. I discovered something really important here. After reading the whole context, I discovered that MY “understanding” of what Jesus meant by this statement was VERY different than what HE meant by it! My knee jerk emotional response was to think “negatively” about how we should treat the pagans and tax collectors… i.e. shun them, disassociate with them, ignore them… (This was very eye opening for me and I am feeling a bit embarrassed about it!) But, that is not at ALL what Jesus meant by that statement!! Let’s look at the lead in scripture; “What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, I tell you the truth, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost.” Matthew 18:12-14. THIS is the heart of Jesus!! He was seeing the person who sinned against us as a “lost sheep” that needed to be found!

Then I started to think about all the scriptures that state that Jesus spent more time with the Tax collectors and sinners than He did with the “righteous” people! Here are just a few: “While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew's house, many tax collectors and "sinners" came and ate with him and his disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, "Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and 'sinners'?" On hearing this, Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners." Matthew 9:10-13

“The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, 'Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and "sinners”...” Matthew 11:19

“Which of the two did what his father wanted? "The first," they answered. Jesus said to them, "I tell you the truth, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God ahead of you. For John came to you to show you the way of righteousness, and you did not believe him, but the tax collectors and the prostitutes did. And even after you saw this, you did not repent and believe him.” Matthew 21:31-32

“A man was there by the name of Zacchaeus; he was a chief tax collector and was wealthy. He wanted to see who Jesus was, but being a short man he could not, because of the crowd. So he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore-fig tree to see him, since Jesus was coming that way. When Jesus reached the spot, he looked up and said to him, "Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today." So he came down at once and welcomed him gladly.” Luke 19:2-6

He even chose a tax collector to be one of his disciples! “As Jesus went on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax collector's booth. "Follow me," he told him, and Matthew got up and followed him.” Matthew 9:9

And then he says things like this:

“If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' lend to 'sinners,' expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.” Luke 6:32

So… I had to do a major perspective shift with seeing that scripture in the way that Jesus actually meant it! He is not saying to treat a brother who sins against you “unfavorably”, but instead, adjust your expectations of them, don’t think of them as a “brother” but as a lost sheep, someone who needs MORE grace, mercy and kindness… like a pagan or a tax collector! Please tell me I am not the only one who thought this way! Apparently this was a perspective that I had adopted and didn’t even realize it! I am very thankful that the Lord revealed this attitude so that I could change it!

So, as it turns out, I was wrong and my friend was right! That is exactly the way she needed to handle her difficult situation, with more grace, love and compassion! I now see these specific words of Jesus very differently than I did before… do you?