Our intimacy in marriage class has continued to be very good in helping us to grow closer together, teaching us about God’s purpose and plan for marriage as well as teaching me more about intimacy with Christ. Tom and I had so many “gaps” in our understanding of each other and of intimacy that we continually fell into pitfalls of disappointment and confusion. Now I feel like those gaps are finally closing as our understanding increases! We are learning so much more about enjoying the “journey” and “having fun” with each other! I feel like, instead of trying to make the small pieces that we had work, we are now beginning to experience the “fullness” that was intended for our relationship and intimacy that we both desired yet kept missing for so long!
Our last class and homework helped us to realize how much we were focusing on the “orgasm” in our lovemaking instead of the fun and playfulness of getting there. Tom, being a recovering sex addict, had a subconscious perspective that the orgasm was “his greatest need” and focused on "when it was going to happen" instead of allowing the “process” to be the goal. And I, knowing that was what he wanted, was always resisting. Now that he/we have identified this, we are able to refocus and really enjoy the spiritual and emotional intimacy development between us throughout the day… and if the orgasm happens, great! If not then we had a wonderful time of intimacy and playfulness. This has been an amazing transformation in our relationship!
Tom was sharing this with one of his men’s groups he meets with and one of the guys said something like, “we can even apply that to our relationship with the Lord!” If we are always looking for the big powerful moments with the Lord (the orgasms), we will miss the intimate and playful times with Him during the day! It seems to be a common theme in the Christian community that we are always looking for God in a “feeling” and a “powerful miracle” and if we don’t “feel” it, we think He isn’t there or we think we are missing Him somehow. But really we need to be enjoying the daily “quiet times” and “intimate” moments with him as we go about our day. I thought that was a very profound revelation! At this point in my walk I think I have moved beyond the need for that BIG “emotional” feeling to feel God’s presence but this application is helping me to zero in on and focus even more on my daily interactions with the Lord and having more fun with Him throughout the day and letting Him control the “orgasms” of our relationship!! This has been an amazing and wonderful time of growing and learning on so many different levels! I feel like Tom and I have crossed over a new “threshold” in our relationship that surpasses anything we thought was possible!
Thank you Lord for these wonderful revelations! Thank you for helping me to “see” You clearer as I learn more about what You intended for my marriage relationship! I look forward to what You have in store for me in the future! Help me Lord to continue to look to YOU for all things and in all ways. You are the King of Kings and You are passionate about your relationship with me! Help me to truly know what that means and to be as passionate in my relationship with You!
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