Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Linda's Journal - January 19, 2010

I realized that I have not talked very much about the Inn lately… mostly because we haven’t had very many guests here at all. I suppose this is because this time of year can still be considered the “slow” season. The reservations calendar is looking like it will be picking up a little in Feb, March still looks a little bleak but then in April it starts picking up again.

Last Sunday Tom and I went to a baptism. There were several people in the Home Fellowships that we have attended that wanted to be baptized so they were able to make arrangements at a local church to use their baptismal. There were six people getting baptized but we had only heard two of the six names and we really wanted to support those two and celebrate with them. When we got there we saw that we knew all but one of the people getting baptized! That was a very nice surprise :) One of the girls I had not seen or talked with in a few months and had just sent her an email asking her how she was. So, when I saw her I was very pleasantly surprised, not only to see her but also to be there for her baptism. She said she had planned to respond to my email but had not had the time yet. So that night I got her response and was very surprised at what she said! :
Hey dear friend,

So nice to see you, if only briefly today….

I also wanted to tell both you and Tom something that the Lord put on my heart the day that we met together and was intending to tell you the next time I saw you in person-- but we haven't had that opportunity.

When you were sharing the story with me about how you came to Labor Day and had no place to stay, I was instantly reminded that the Lord had placed on my heart -offering my place for the two of you to stay while I visited Alea.  I dismissed the idea, because I was only going to be gone a few days and didn't think that it would help. Based on your story, the day that the Lord gave you other provision was the day that I came back. The Lord's timing is perfect.

The Lord has forgiven me for dismissing His leading, but I need to ask you and Tom to do the same. It was particularly important for me that Tom know as he felt as though the Lord had not come through, when instead it was I who didn't follow through on what the Lord told me. 

I know that the Lord used you in Elena's life during that time, and He always makes provision, but it was a poignant lesson for me that I don't have to figure out how to do more than the Lord is asking me to do--just to listen to what He says to do.

Love to you both.  I'm so glad that you were there to share in my re-baptism and I look forward to the next opportunity to be together.

Blessings,
BS

Wow, how cool was that!?  I know that God knew what she was going to do so it all worked out in the end but still, it was interesting to hear that God had made that provision but she had reasoned her way out of it.  If she hadn’t we probably would not have been sitting a Panera until 8pm with no place to go wondering what the heck was going on… But He did make another way and we are so thankful for the body of Christ and all the prayers and support we have gotten through this crazy but wonderful time in our lives.

There are two things that I am still praying about. The first is whether or not to post my journal entries on my blog. Since we have settled into the Inn, things have slowed down and don’t seem “blog” worthy. There are a few things that are interesting but for the most part, it is just personal and seemingly uninteresting “to others” stuff. But, when I was praying this morning about it, I was processing the reasons for my hesitation. I asked myself, why I started the blog… answer; because God told me to. So, my next question was, has He told me to stop or am I just “reasoning” my way out of it? Good question! Am I projecting and deciding for myself what people will want to read or am I following the lead of the Holy Spirit to stop? As I write this now I am realizing that it is more than likely my “people pleasing” tendency that has caused my hesitation to posting. I don’t want people to be bored or disappointed in what I am writing so I have determined for myself to stop. But now I realize that it is not my job to decide what people will like or not, but to be obedient to the Holy Spirits leading and not worry about what others think. I see now that these “un-interesting” times are laying the foundations of the bigger things that God will be doing later on… sort of like the 540 highway, God has to do a lot of “prep-work”, plowing and clearing to do greater works in my life but these steps are VERY important for the bigger things to happen. Thank you Lord for your guidance and direction! Help me Lord to hear YOUR voice loud and clear when it is time to stop and not get caught up in reasoning my way out of it! (I suppose now I will need to go back and post all the entries so far this year… DOH!)

The second thing I am still praying about is my Thursday night women’s group.  The more I think about not doing it, the more “freedom” I feel. This is another thing that I may be doing because I have always done it but that God wants to end it completely and do a new thing? The analogy I thought of this morning was that I keep trying to “prop up” a dead body and make it interact with me, and then I get disappointed or frustrated when it doesn’t respond! But, on the other hand, when I send out emails of things I am learning, I get at least one response from the girls of how that impacted them (I get just a small “pulse” of life every once in a while). No one seems to be able to come to the group lately but they seem to like the emails I send out. Speaking of which, I sent out the email about doing “segments of time” to do specific studies and asked them what they wanted or needed and have only heard the birds chirping. So, that brings me to the next question; am I being co-dependent and trying to fix these ladies, and breathe life into them, when they don’t really want to be fixed? Should I just let it all go and when they are ready they can come to me (or someone else for that matter)? I guess I just want to make sure that it is God’s leading to let it go and not mine. I have let them know that I am taking off January and February so I will continue to pray about it and wait until the end of that time to make a decision. I have a good feeling that by the end of that time, I will have a clear leading and direction. I have peace about the “waiting” :)

Father, once again I thank you for your “miraculous” work in my life, whether it is exciting to others or not, I know you are “transforming” me into a new creation for YOUR Kingdom, Glory and Honor!  I am so excited to grow intimately closer to You and feel Your presence more and more every day.  You are God and there is no one like YOU. You are God and there is no other!  Amen!

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